i have so much in my heart right now after this week at camp, but no real words to speak. i just wanted to say hi to everyone... my heart has been stretched and encouraged and i'm not necessarily "ready" for what comes next, but I'm willing to run after it full force, with my fists tight and my jaw clenched, i'm excited for this next phase. I'm excited to walk it with you guys. thank you for all that you've shared up to now - i'm looking forward to seeing more of you.

and tonight's last number..

watched part of my grandpa's memorial service tonight on DVD..
listened to myself singing my tribute to him.. and then got me thinking to me and what will be said at my grave, at my memorial.. then got thinking about this church plant, my life, my destiny, my purpose..

kinda wrote a poem, but not really..i think i have always sucked at poetry, but whatever..here's part of me tonight..

the lights are beginning to dim in the houses around me, the night is drawing near.
i think about the future and wonder why and what it is that i sometimes fear.

i could say it is my weaknesses, my lack and all my faults.
but i know that none of those qualify me to be knocked off.

instead it almost feels childlike, vulnerable yet exciting.
to know that my jesus will walk with us, oh how very inviting.

when i close my eyes and stop to see His face,
i see Him in every part of who i am and who i'll be.

streams of different songs running thru my head
but tonight as i get ready to lay my head down
this one holds to be the loudest instead:

there's only us
there's only this
forget regret or life is yours to miss
no other road
no other way
no day like today.


this is no day like today, my friends.
carpe diem - seize the day. god made YOU for THIS day.
and DANG, i'm bless that we're walking THIS day TOGETHER.

goodnight my family, i love you. <3

from the middle of nowhere

hey everyone...
sittin here with jonathan in madisonville kentucky...caleb's sleepin, and we're just trying to make sense of the past couple days. i have been thinking of you guys the past couple days. i don't claim to know some of you at all...but i want you to know that the more i talk about God's dream, the more i dream of following jesus' wild eyes together.
there's no way for me to articulate everything that's been said on our trip; that would be both mindless and lifeless. but i did want to let you know how awesome it's been to bare our/your hearts to some really cool people...and for them to assure us that yes, we're out of our minds...but in the same sentence remind us that no, we're not alone in this mission. in fact, mark swank said it this way: the fact that the dream in our heart in irrational, unsupported by current planting research/writing, and culturally daunting is the very evidence of the indisputable/irrefutable nature of God's purpose/plan in our hearts. our 'craziness' is proof and assurance that maybe...just maybe we might be stumbling into the great storehouses of Christ's eternal kingdom. God has a plan for our nation, and what He needs are people who are willing to trust the big picture to Him...knowing that He cares most about those who He will reach in burnaby.
sooooo encouraging for me...j and i have remarked several times that more than gleaning new info/strategy/vision, we've been reassured that God has actually already spoken to our [and that's ALL of us] hearts!! a starting proposition, i know...that we've actually heard His heart!!
oh i want more.
enough for now. will share some more once i'm home.
dar and i are sooo looking forward to being near to you.
continue to pray for jonathan and caleb as they start their motorcycle pilgrimage tomorrow.
sw

home

We went camping with my mom's side of the family this weekend.. it was Smith's and us... all 6 of us cousins were there! probably won't happen again for a while, but it was awesome while it lasted...

i travelled with Mike and Alison and we went to the farm on Thursday night before going to Cypress Hills on Friday. We got there at about 1am so everyone was in bed... all was quiet... even as we drove into the yard my heart began to stir... this is what i wrote in my journal that night...

"there hasn't been a time in the last couple years that I've been here and part of me hasn't longed for this place. I come into the yard I see the changes and I wish I was here more. perhaps it's an illusion that i'm chasing... perhaps my memory is far rosier than reality but for some reason this place stirs up some sort of longing in my heart... perhaps it's for the country itself but i'm begining to wonder if it isn't rather what this place, this farm represents for me. a place i can always come "home" to... a place that embraces all people, every size, shape and color... a place that will forever hold so many memories of laughter and love and stability in the midst of change and uncertainty. Can there be such a place in everyone's life? Is it possible that this what the "church" should feel like to people... a place of love and acceptance, stability and consistancy, a place to come home to?"

i guess this is the essence of community but i realize when i'm thrown back to the times and places that i've experienced it that it's what everyone is longing for and so few people truely have...

maybe it's what we will become for people...