Fasting and Prayer 09/06

As we were praying, here are a few of the things I felt in my heart for Burnaby:

His glory will be shown.
We won't always know what to do.. But we will follow Him. His definition of success isn't alway ours, so whether or not our version of 'success' happens, his glory will be shown in who we are, how we react, and by who we are, others will know it's Him.

Changing. Fire of a generation.
If we want to see change, we will feel/know the fire.
There will be a testing of our hearts. Will we pay the price for what He wants to do? Do we really want to be a part of this? What are our motives?

Asking. Boldly.
We will see.
We will let our cry ring with His. Let our hearts break with the things that break His heart.
We will attempt great things because we've asked Him for great things.
Confidence... In who He is and who we are.

SO WHAT DOES THIS LOOK LIKE?
Again, as I was praying, here is some of what I felt in my heart.

I believe that we will be inspiring young men and women to run boldly.
We won't be intimidated by what others have done as they have walked before us, instead we will continue on with their heart, thier passion, but it will look completely different then what they have done, and we will be ok with that even when sometimes others find it hard to see past the style.
We will be changed.
Sending out. New places release new faces.
Music will be huge. It will play a big role in who we are and what we do.
On the streets we will take prophetic faith steps.
We will learn together.
There will be healing of the broken and the hopeless.

As we talked and prayed, I was able to grapple a bit more with what it means to be a part of this team. Honestly, I do stuggle with what my part will be. My place. I know that we all do. As I prayed I know I began to see more of God's heart. Hear his voice for what we will be doing, where I haven't before.

And I'd love to hear your thoughts.. What were your experiences in fasting and prayer?

todays thoughts from pj..

hey team...another excerpt from an email i received from pj today.. enjoy..

WE STARTED A MOVE HERE TO REDEFINE WHO WE ARE AND WHAT WE DO AT LUASANNE. WHAT HEATED AND QUITE FUN...THERE ARE 9 CANADIANS AND WE WERE REALLY VOCAL...AND IS PER USUAL...I STARTED IT BY ASKING SOME QUESTIONS AND NOT TAKING THE TOKEN RESPONSE...WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF US BEING HERE? WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF GATHERING US TOGETHER? WHAT ARE THE ISSUES WE REALLY NEED TO BE WRESTLING WITH(UNREACHED PEOPLES, SOCIAL JUSTICE, ETC). AND HOW THE SESSIONS HAVE TENDED TO BE INFO MERCIALS FOR LUASANNE THAN ACTUAL TEACHING OR FORUMS...WAS REALLY COOL.
HAVE MADE SOME REALLY GOOD FRIENDS. IT IS FUNNY HOW QUICKLY THE CANADIANS HAVE CONNECTED. 2 FROM BURNABY. ONE OF THE GUYS IS A LEADER AT WILLINGDON IN BURNABY...SO ITS BEEN COOL TO TALK TO HIM.

some news from malaysia

jonathan emailed me today..
his email is not working at the hotel so has to stand in long lines to use a computer, so will let u in on some of the email he emailed me.. if u NEED to email him, give it to me and i will see what i can do for you. ;)

"i am overwhelmed by so many things. the conversations are so powerful...it is hard to process life once you have spent time with guys who are living the life out in iraq and egypt and syria or china. and they are nationals...not westerners. it demands so much of my heart and feels like in so many ways the Lord is giving my head a shake...just in terms of values and passion and how i live out who i am.

have spent time with the canadians...it is so cool how we natural group with each other regardless of where in canada we are from...not many other countries do that...in fact only china that i have noticed does that. i am one of a handful of penticostal/charasmatics from the western countries...lots of africans are...but not alot of others are...has led to some very interesting conversations. they all ask why we will not work with them. which of course breaks my heart...because i see the tendency of my life to isolate from those who do not or are not willing to believe as i do.

one of the guys from africa whose ministry is to muslim scholars talked to me about the fact that most of what we call faith is based in fear...we wont engage in relationship with muslims...we wont wrestle with them...or talk to them...and i see that reflected in a lot more than just our relationships with muslims...God help us."

will be good to hear all that is going on there..it may take weeks to download it all! :)
cheers.
trace

where am i?

hi team..family..community..

where am i?
well...currently i'm sittin in front of this pc at 11.38 pm, wondering if i should really blog this or not.. and i figured, why not?

so here i go.

this week has been extremely hard for me. some things i'm not at liberty to say, some things i am. anyhow, the amount of change going on inside me and around me is far more than i can bear. i have literally been in tears for the better part of this week.. tomoro am scares me to death. knowin that the entire team is now here scares me to death. knowing that my little world is not going to be the same scares me to death. knowing that god has a part for ME in this all scares me to death.

and my fricken name means couragous.. NICE.

i usually dont know how to articulate what i'm feeling in person, but i will try. please be patient and gracious with me as i try to be with you. i'm going deep, i'm diving in, in over my head i'm gonna be lost in the flood, in over my head i'm gonna go, the river's deep, the river's wide, the river's water is alive, so sink or swim...i'm divin in.

thanks steven.. your song is what i am holding onto this season.

night.

ps - erin and i are off to timmy's, at this hour...hehehe.. ;) word up hommies.

crisis

i realize (i think i actually knew this before) that whenever crisis or confusion hits in my life my natural tendancy is to isolate and keep to myself... and from there i end up letting my mind take over and leave no room for faith...

i'm thinking this is gonna have to change.

i have so much in my heart right now after this week at camp, but no real words to speak. i just wanted to say hi to everyone... my heart has been stretched and encouraged and i'm not necessarily "ready" for what comes next, but I'm willing to run after it full force, with my fists tight and my jaw clenched, i'm excited for this next phase. I'm excited to walk it with you guys. thank you for all that you've shared up to now - i'm looking forward to seeing more of you.

and tonight's last number..

watched part of my grandpa's memorial service tonight on DVD..
listened to myself singing my tribute to him.. and then got me thinking to me and what will be said at my grave, at my memorial.. then got thinking about this church plant, my life, my destiny, my purpose..

kinda wrote a poem, but not really..i think i have always sucked at poetry, but whatever..here's part of me tonight..

the lights are beginning to dim in the houses around me, the night is drawing near.
i think about the future and wonder why and what it is that i sometimes fear.

i could say it is my weaknesses, my lack and all my faults.
but i know that none of those qualify me to be knocked off.

instead it almost feels childlike, vulnerable yet exciting.
to know that my jesus will walk with us, oh how very inviting.

when i close my eyes and stop to see His face,
i see Him in every part of who i am and who i'll be.

streams of different songs running thru my head
but tonight as i get ready to lay my head down
this one holds to be the loudest instead:

there's only us
there's only this
forget regret or life is yours to miss
no other road
no other way
no day like today.


this is no day like today, my friends.
carpe diem - seize the day. god made YOU for THIS day.
and DANG, i'm bless that we're walking THIS day TOGETHER.

goodnight my family, i love you. <3

from the middle of nowhere

hey everyone...
sittin here with jonathan in madisonville kentucky...caleb's sleepin, and we're just trying to make sense of the past couple days. i have been thinking of you guys the past couple days. i don't claim to know some of you at all...but i want you to know that the more i talk about God's dream, the more i dream of following jesus' wild eyes together.
there's no way for me to articulate everything that's been said on our trip; that would be both mindless and lifeless. but i did want to let you know how awesome it's been to bare our/your hearts to some really cool people...and for them to assure us that yes, we're out of our minds...but in the same sentence remind us that no, we're not alone in this mission. in fact, mark swank said it this way: the fact that the dream in our heart in irrational, unsupported by current planting research/writing, and culturally daunting is the very evidence of the indisputable/irrefutable nature of God's purpose/plan in our hearts. our 'craziness' is proof and assurance that maybe...just maybe we might be stumbling into the great storehouses of Christ's eternal kingdom. God has a plan for our nation, and what He needs are people who are willing to trust the big picture to Him...knowing that He cares most about those who He will reach in burnaby.
sooooo encouraging for me...j and i have remarked several times that more than gleaning new info/strategy/vision, we've been reassured that God has actually already spoken to our [and that's ALL of us] hearts!! a starting proposition, i know...that we've actually heard His heart!!
oh i want more.
enough for now. will share some more once i'm home.
dar and i are sooo looking forward to being near to you.
continue to pray for jonathan and caleb as they start their motorcycle pilgrimage tomorrow.
sw

home

We went camping with my mom's side of the family this weekend.. it was Smith's and us... all 6 of us cousins were there! probably won't happen again for a while, but it was awesome while it lasted...

i travelled with Mike and Alison and we went to the farm on Thursday night before going to Cypress Hills on Friday. We got there at about 1am so everyone was in bed... all was quiet... even as we drove into the yard my heart began to stir... this is what i wrote in my journal that night...

"there hasn't been a time in the last couple years that I've been here and part of me hasn't longed for this place. I come into the yard I see the changes and I wish I was here more. perhaps it's an illusion that i'm chasing... perhaps my memory is far rosier than reality but for some reason this place stirs up some sort of longing in my heart... perhaps it's for the country itself but i'm begining to wonder if it isn't rather what this place, this farm represents for me. a place i can always come "home" to... a place that embraces all people, every size, shape and color... a place that will forever hold so many memories of laughter and love and stability in the midst of change and uncertainty. Can there be such a place in everyone's life? Is it possible that this what the "church" should feel like to people... a place of love and acceptance, stability and consistancy, a place to come home to?"

i guess this is the essence of community but i realize when i'm thrown back to the times and places that i've experienced it that it's what everyone is longing for and so few people truely have...

maybe it's what we will become for people...

downtown east side of van

hey peeps..just saw this article this am on msn news...
interesting..

http://healthandfitness.sympatico.msn.ca/News/ContentPosting.aspx?newsitemid=29717022&feedname=CP-HEALTH&show=True&number=3&showbyline=False&subtitle=&detect=&abc=abc

this is where we're headed peeps.. :)
anybody excited yet?!?