happy birthday rosie muffin!

today marks the 7th year we have been blessed to have our rad little daughter...aka rosie :)

i can't describe the joy (for the most part!!) she brings me..she's always ready to give hugs..she's always got something to tell you...and she has the most contagious laugh.. she, indeed, is god's gift to us!

tonight we're gonna have her fave for dinner - perogies SMOTHERED with butter and sour cream (there goes all of this weeks's calories in one sitting!)- with us and her uncle josh, then the 5 of us will make our way down to silvercity theatres and watch KUNG FU PANDA! woot woot! a birthday party with friends is scheduled for july, post crazy end of school season!

i will leave you with this video made by a friend in the philippines to honor our dear muffy.. we love you babe!!

rosie's birthday video

Good Bye and Thank- You

Hi my Mission Burnaby Friends,
I LOVE YOU!
Thank-you for being here for me during this last 6 months.
Thank-you for being present
Thank-you Rosie and Caleb for being awesome
Thank-you Hayley for making my day by saying " Hi TANYA" every time I walk in the room
Thank-you for loving me as I am
Thank-you for having faith in me
Thank-you for opening your hearts and homes
Thank-you for showing my your tangible love
Thank-you for feeding me :)
Thank-you for giving me a warm place to sleep
Thank-you for being fun
Thank-you for making me laugh
Thank-you for giving me good books to read
Thank-you for teaching talking with me
Thank-you for praying with me
Thank-you for being you
And thank-you for being an open door
just like the heart of God..
I LOVE YOU! Did I mention that??
Until we meet again. MO Peace MO Joy (FUN)!!! MO faith MO courage and love in this grand adventure we call LIFE!!! See ya soon.
Tanya Dawn little t, tanin, tanenbaum Gillespie

the art of rain...

I made my way to Saskatchewan on Tuesday night. After being mistaken for a flight attendant three times, running into a guy from Estevan while waiting for the bathroom and seeing a guy I worked with in Regina over six years ago, I landed in Regina. Marcy and Dwight met me at the airport and we caught up during the trip to Moose Jaw and when we got to their house. We slept for a couple hours and then we were off to the farm in Consul.

If I didn’t know better I would have thought I was still in Burnaby; it was cold, rainy and windy. When I got to the farm, I had lunch with grandma and grandpa, salmon, while looking out the window at the rain falling… Again, I was a bit confused about where I was.

The rain continued Wednesday and most of Thursday off and on, always gray, sometimes windy and sometimes calm, mostly wet. The farmers are thankful but I can’t help but hope the sun will come out soon.

The rain got me thinking though. The difference between rain in Burnaby and rain at the farm is cement. In Burnaby, when it rains you get a little wet. Walking to work or waiting at the bus I get a little wet. The bottom of my pants get heavy and sometimes pretty soaked but that’s easy enough take care of with the heater under my desk.

Here, rain means mud. The mud was so thick and the puddles so deep I almost lost my grandma’s mud shoes on my jaunt over to see Heather and Geoff’s new house. Heather calls the puddles her moat. Evan lost his boots in it today. He got stuck and Heather had to pull him out and leave the boots behind. (She got them out later with a shovel ☺)

I can’t help but think about what a difference the ground makes when we talk about the results of rain. Some surfaces are completely unaffected. Some can be completely reformed with a little bit of moisture. Some are so parched and dry that the water can hardly even penetrate the surface.

I have to wonder what the state of my heart is. How receptive am I to the rain? In whatever form it may come… pouring and painfully harsh, tender and misty, or constantly unpredictable in fits and spurts.

what have we lost?

"So do you go to church? I mean that is what you are supposed to do right?" was the question posed to me. And the thought that began to form in my mind looked like this: what does it really mean for the people of God to 'come'? Especially 'come together'? and why? Is it a gathering where we sit and listen? is that it?
Could it be that how we do this 'coming' thing is actually a read out, if you will, of the condition of our hearts?

What does it look like for you/my heart to 'come'? Who do people see when you 'arrive'?

If we come together right, we come fully and nakedly ourselves...we come with more of our humanness showing than we are apt to come to most places.

We come like Moses with the evidence of being a shepherd on our shoes, with muck on our shoes - tired, sore feet, travel stained with the dust of our lives upon us: our failures, our deceits, our hypocrisies...because if, unlike Moses, we have never killed anyone, we have again and again withheld the gift of humanity from other people. Including with-holding from those who are 'nearest' to us, the love that might have made their lives worth living...not to mention our own.

Like Moses, shouldn't we come as we are? Maybe even as strangers and exiles...because wherever it is that we truly belong, whatever is that is truly home for us, we know in our hearts that we have somehow lost it and/or gotten lost. Something is missing from our lives that we cannot even name - something we know best from the empty place inside of us all where it belongs. Some times we just know it as the ache.

And too many of us spend our time avoiding that terrible feeling of emptiness/darkness and we spend our time searching for something that reminds us of what it felt like...and in the end life becomes about us...which is a very sad and twisted reality. Just living for ourselves...

Could 'running from something' or 'searching for something' be synonyms?

Is love not the transformation of a life...from being all about me, to being all about you?

I think we come together to find what we have lost. We come together to acknowledge that even if we are the best we can be...we are lost and helpless to save ourselves. That we need the reality of Jesus...not just in a supernatural personal/private experience...but His reality manifesting in others.

We need the gift of being able to confess our sins to someone with muck on their shoes too.

Could it be that what we search for is a place of love and no fear...where we can rest and allow the journey to be what it is? The pathway of being found...

so back to the beginning...Could it be that how we do this 'coming' thing is actually a read out, if you will, of the condition of our hearts?

Is my ability to invite others into my very personal journey a barometer of my selfishness? of my love? What if in the coming we discovered what it meant to return to that which we truly long for...a place called home.

just thoughts
j

life is precious...

I went to visit my friend Shirley at the hospital today. When I got to the room she shares with two other patients, there was a little asian man occupying her space. Needless to say, I was a little worried. I hadn’t been to visit her the previous weekend and not being as medically astute as might be helpful, I didn’t know what could potentially happen in a two-week span for a stroke patient. With a bit of trepidation, I asked the nurse at the station if she knew where Shirley had been moved to.

“I think she has been transferred to TCU. Let me just check.”

TCU! What’s TCU? That doesn’t sound good. That’s kinda like ICU. Let’s not jump to any conclusions…

“Ya, she’s been moved to the Transitional Care Unit… She’ll be there until they find her a place at another facility. It’s in the West building, room 420, bed B.”

O good, TCU is a good thing. Relatively.

I found her and her cute new roommate, Nellie. I had a nice little chat with them both, together for a while and separately while they got their diapers changed. Nellie is so sweet with her English accent, her constant apologies for forgetting and her “I’ll have to get back to you on thats” when she can’t answer a polite conversation question because she just can’t remember.

And Shirley, with her “Do you see that spider? Do you see those eggs? Ed (her husband) kidnapped us last night and got arrested.” She has arachnophobia and according to her allegedly arrested husband, has some delusions as a result of her stroke. I’m not sure what to believe anymore. But that’s ok.

I hope it makes Shirley’s days better when I go to visit her. It sure makes me appreciate my health and my family and friends more. A reminder that this moment is all that is guaranteed and sometimes even it is cut short.

Shirley told me today that she’s claimed me as her daughter and that she tells the nurses that’s who I am. I’m ok with that. Whatever makes today easier for you, Shirley.

So I’ll continue to visit her when I can and feed her thickened water with a spoon and join into her delusions with her. It’s one of the better ways I spend my time really.


Oh and some day soon, Shirley, Nellie and I are going on a picnic at Stanley Park. Shirley said I can carry all the food and stuff. I thanked her for the honor.

destination = philippines!

at the end of last year, jonathan got asked by the church we planted with his dad and 3 other pastors - church of god makati - in the philippines, to come and do a conference this june as a part of their 10 year anniversary.

then jonathan's dad asked if the kids and i would like to come too, as he had airmiles for us all.. so we are!!

in fact, we leave TOMORROW and are all very excited about it!! our flight on the ever satisfying asian airline, CATHAY PACIFIC, leaves actually 1am on monday..so we'll be at the airport tomorrow night! we have a few mini trek's planned, (boracay and then subic bay) along with some stuff at the church while we are there. we even get to stay for the afternoon/evening in hong kong so it will awesome to take the kids thru there!!

if you go to my personal photo blog while we're away, you will see that i am posting photos and snippets from our trip every day we're there! so bookmark it and check it every day!

tracey's photo blog

bon voyage!
the heppner's

lochdale teacher's luncheon

we had the priviledge to host a luncheon for the teachers at lochdale community school, where our kids go, on their pro-d day, last friday, may 16th.

they were completely overwhelmed that we would serve them; they are used to do so much work and to have them being seated and serve them...i think it was just what the doctor ordered!!

they are all so amazing and fun!
we gave each teacher a gift with this attached to it:


A teacher is like Fall,
With methods crisp and clear,
Lessons of bright colors
And a happy atmosphere.

A teacher is like Winter,
While it’s snowing hard outside,
Keeping students comfortable,
As a warm and helpful guide.

Teacher, you do all these things,
With a pleasant attitude;
You’re a teacher for all seasons,
And you have our gratitude!


To the staff of Lochdale Community School,

We, as Mission Burnaby, wanted to put this luncheon on for you to thank you for choosing a vocation that is fulfilling and life giving yet, at times, hard. Thank you for living with your hearts as you teach and interact with our children and the children of this community. This community that we & many others have called “home”, is filled with children who have had people, namely you, in their lives everyday, partnering with us, as we grow them into the citizens of tomorrow.. citizens who will be able to change the world around them.

We simply can’t thank you enough.
Let this be a small token of thanks for the sacrifices
each one of you makes every single day. 

Our hearts,
Jonathan, Tracey & the team at Mission Burnaby

so here's some pics from the luncheon.. enjoy. :)

Getting to Know Me...

I figured, it's been a while since I have written on here, so for those who read it here was my wknd:


I just had an amazing weekend. A weekend of eyes being opened, dreams being stirred, hearts being encouraged, purposed being awoken. I went the this conference in Surrey called Life Women Conference. There were amazing speakers there such as Helen Burns who pastors at the Family Victory Church in Surrey/Vancouver, also Bobbie Houston was a speaker who along with her husband pastors at the Hillsong church in Australia, then the amazing Charlotte Scanlon-Gambill who with her husband pastors at Abundant Life Ministries in England.
There were about 1000 women attending the conference, all with one purpose, to hear from God. To hear His voice through the worship, through the speakers, through the Holy Spirit pulling on our hearts, what a beautiful atmosphere. I know I left that place wanting to rise up with purpose.

I've been in this funk lately, this lazy, purposeless funk... I've been distracting myself with stuff, consumed by working and sleeping with little or no time for anyone else. In this funk I've been thinking... i guess whining is the word, a lot about what am I going to do with my life? How is this little life of mine gonna be worth it. I'm 22 years old and I've been on mountaintops and I've camped in valleys, I've felt cradled by God and so far away from God, I've been a dreamer and I've been a doubter, but I am not satisfied with what I have had or where I am now. I want more. I was created to want more. I think that's a good place to be... wanting more, but only when this hope and desire is brought to and met by God. Where I've been at these past few months these wants and desires have been empty complaints. They haven't been given or tucked away in prayer, I haven't offered them to my Father. I've held them, and I feel like they're stealing life from me.

Yesterday Charlotte spoke on 1 Samuel 25. A story I can honestly say I had never heard. The story of Abigal, Nabbal and David. Go read it. It's amazing. The basic outline of the story is that Abigail and Nabal were married, not the best match, Nabal's name means "Fool" and Abigail's name means "Joy of her Father". David had been watching over Nabal's land and flock's. One day his men went to Nabal's door to inform him of some news. Nabal with no respect tore into them and offended David. The men told David about this and David's first response was "Men, grab your swords!" That's where women step in :) A servant ran to Abigail to tell her about what has happened. She shared David and his men's cause then said, "can you see what you can do?"

Next it says wasting no time Abigail grabbed loaves of bread, cakes, wineskins, grain, and loaded up her donkey. She took off to go find David, when she found him, she lowered herself and blamed her husband's actions on herself. David responded saying, "Thank God he sent you to me so quickly, you have saved me and others from much bloodshed."

That's all paraphrased of course. But wow... "can you see what you can do." Abigail didn't respond like her servant likely expected... These men were coming to kill all of them, she didn't respond with a sword, she responded out of what she could do. Cakes. Wow. And she saved lives by doing it.

How often do we place our own gifts so low on the totem pole and place so little importance on them and try to do what everyone else is doing and completely miss the mark. God has placed something so specific inside each of us. Something that will change our own life, and save others. The next thing that happens in the story is Abigail goes home and her husband has dropped dead. David then comes and proposes marriage to her. Holy smokes. By being obedient to God at what HE has placed inside of us, he will change our situations, He will bless us, He will turn evil into good.

I was just really challenged by that, by so much more as well. I want to be exactly who God has created me to be, I want to make room for my gifts to grow. I'm tired of crowding them by trying to plant in myself gifts that other people have. I'm tired of pushing the gifts He's given me back in because they look different or I dont have time for them. I want to fully live! Fully for Him! Because even if this weekend was just a glimpse of hope for me and my future, and the life I could be living, I want desperately to walk into that glimpse. I only have one life on this earth. One chance. It's time to get moving... It's time to be me... as He created me..

birthdays, smirthdays..

i'm not a real fan of birthdays.
wait, that's not ENTIRELY true.
let me be more specific - my birthdays.

i LOVE LOVE LOVE doing stuff for other people's birthdays..
but mine..notta.

however our dear MB team had a wee party with lots of chocolate
cakes and that made me quite happy about the possibility of a birthday
party for me.. :)

here's some shots my new "assistant" erin took of us all! :)

then of course er and i had to have a little fun with the camera!
thanks for the fun time guys!! :) xoxo

something fun...

so i have some really amazing friends who are wedding photographers - a husband/wife duo - reilly and miranda - who took j's and my's portraits last week - the first time in our married life we've had our very own photo shoot!

it was so much fun!!! kinda like a 13th anniversary gift to us (in july it will be our 13th..can you beleive it??!

here's some of their faves they put up on their blog...