Ever since our little meeting with everyone that one, cold, wednesday night, I have been thinking about the dream/s that were mentioned. My thoughts have been non stop, because I have dreams, but am terrified to pursue them. If I take courses in a school, that means going out of my comfort. I am very insecure that I may fail, that I may not make what a normal person would do, because in my history of education I've lived a non normal life, compared to some. If I take courses, that means a huge commitment. Am I ready for a commitment that I might not like after a month of doing the course? That when I finish the course I'm not putting my whole heart into it because it's not what my heart truly wants. Let me put it this way...I know ministry, therefore I know what to expect, I put my heart into it, and I love it. I don't know anything about life long careers, I have no idea what to expect, and I don't know if I'll like it, is it worth it to spend all that money to not enjoy the career chosen...sigh...I think I need to hear from God, cause I'm feeling unsure about taking more education.
So with that said...even though I've spilled my guts about the fears I have, let me share the dreams or I guess the ideas I have that are inside me.
-I was for awhile thinking about pursuing the idea of being a vet’s assistant, because I love animals and when I was little I always wanted to be a vet. But that’s repetition that makes my creative side die, so I have been leaning to no, but it's still an option.
-For 3 years I worked as a deli clerk and I loved it, I was able to specialize in the cheese department, make trays, and was able to work with the meat and understand it. It's also where I learned to work with customers and be able to be pretty much a supervisor. The only reason I quit was because I didn't like the environment I worked in and the boss I worked for. But ever since I left, I have always wanted to open my own deli store where I was able to have specialty meat and cheese, where sandwiches are made. It would look like a subway but healthier and would have more class at a good price. With fresh bread, meat made at the deli and served fresh, a coffee bar, and so much more...Can you imagine it! I bet you are drooling! Or just craving a really good sandwich. Ha Ha. But in order to accomplish this I need to accomplish school. Entrepreneurship to be exact, and probably some sort of food course. I'm scared because...This is big! And I have no Idea where to start. But what’s really cool is that I told my family about my idea and they were so pumped about it that they started to tell me how they would fit into the roll of being part of my deli. They were coming up with names that would fit the style. It was supper cool, my (non christian) Sister said that she totally connects to that and said it would be such a big hit (in Calgary) because she hasn't seen anything like that (what I described to her) before. Sigh...This is big, and God is so much Bigger, I'm just scared to imagine it to be reality.
So with this long letter said, I shall say three more things....Farewell, Merry Christmas and I love you all!
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2 comments:
wow megs, that is so awesome. it certainly got me excited! I love that I'm still learning stuff about you... that there are still wild dreams inside of you that i've yet to come across... thank you for sharing...
hmmm... dreams. I too struggle because the things i dream about don't necessarily "get anywhere" or accomplish much long-term they are things that i think, just help me express myself. The things I dream of doing are things like learning sign language classes - not to necessarily work with the deaf, but to be friends with them, and to worship God in a new way... I want to take art classes a couple nights a week, and pottery... I would like to learn how to sew, i don't know if i'd have the patience, would LOVE to learn how to dance - that's one of my childhood dreams...I want to have a garden that is mainly to supply people with fresh veggies who wouldn't normally eat them. I want to sit on the grass with buskers and just listen to them play.
I guess i do have a somewhat of a long term dream, a part of me wants to be a hairdresser/make up artist... i don't want to work in a commercial salon, i would love to be part of someone's personal little business, one that's a small hole in the wall, based on relationships kind of place. Maybe one day i could have one of my own. who knows... Part of me, a really small, scared little part wants to learn how to write... maybe one day write books, i don't know what kind... i say it's a small scared little part because i've been around people who really can write and i've allowed it to stop me... silly i know. there's some small parts of me
Thanks for sharing guys. I'm thinking about what I'm dreaming of doing in Burnaby, and I feel like God has been re-awakening my dream for school. Will I do it right away? I don't know, but I'm getting really excited to maybe finish off my counselling degree. It will be affective in whatever I end up doing I think. I'm really excited about just being somewhere new and discovering little stores, and new people, and not being in -38C for most of January. My dream is still with you guys, but it's so cool how God is releasing us each into our own dreams as a way of making His come true and giving new colors to paint with on the canvas we know as 'Mission Burnaby'.
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