Don't you just love being challenged?

well equally as much as everyone else on here being challenged sometimes isnt that comfort... well usually never is that comfortable. I have been listening to an mp3 audio book called "One thing you cant do in heaven" and it is about witnessing. Well this guy that wrote it, mark cahill, is unbelievable, he witnesses to anyone, anywhere, anytime.. needless to say i have been challenged to at least start by talking to a person on the bus instead of reading or fancy that listening to mark cahill.. :-)
anyway i was coming home the other day and this older gentleman got on the bus and he was having a hard time doing so, but he got settled down in his seat and away the bus went. i could see from this man that he had some kind of leg pain and it was a larger man as well. the immediate thought that came to my head was to go over and talk to him, find out what was wrong and pray for him if he would let me, it was Christmas day after all. but i told myself if he gets off at my stop then I will, and low and behold he did.
as he got off the bus I came beside him and asked do you mind if i ask what i wrong with your leg?
and he told me that he was overweight and had flat feet in a matter of fact tone. then he exclaimed that he was losing weight though.
i talked to him a bit more and he said that he is ok when he is moving but when he sits it takes time to get back up.
his name was ernest and so i asked him if he would let me pray for him. to which he replied, you pray for people too!" well knock me off my feet and call my dolly i thought to myself. he turned out to be a believer and had seen many healings in his day, but not so much anymore he said, to which i replied probably because people like us aren't being obedient, and thats why we need to be. he told me he went to a church downtown that benny hinn's brother pastors so we talked a bit about our "church plant" as well. it was a little chilly so i prayed for him and we went our separate ways.
I wish i could bottle up the feeling after I actually do something I feel the Lord telling me to do, it feels so good to obey, but more often than not, i ignore the person, turn up mark cahill(or anything else for the matter) in my earphones, or open my book and continue to be in my own world. Just a little bit of my journey lately.

merry christmas from MISSIONBURNABY!

this is us all, minus nicole, unfortunately who was working..and minus our newest addition, tanya, who was sleeping! giggle..but plus naomi, from australia, who was visiting us all here for two weeks!

merry christmas to you all!
we love you, and thank god for you.
and covet your prayers!

all the best in 2008!

ps - yes, and minus hayley who was asleep.. :)

Love Letters from God

I was thinking yesterday about the letters that my Dad gives me on my birthday some years. The ones that I cherish, that I’ve tucked away in my journals over the years. They are so encouraging and kind. He tells me how much he loves me and all the great things he sees in me. How valuable and I am.

I started to think about how would my dad feel if when I read his letter my response was, “You know, he has no clue what he is talking about. This is all a bunch of garbage. I’m a mess, a piece of work, a pile of broken pieces who can never get anything right.” If I crumpled up the paper and threw it in the general direction of the garbage can. I think he would be sad, he might even cry. Desperate to convince me of what he thinks about me, how much he values me, it would break his heart that I didn’t hear a single word of the beautiful things he was telling me about me.

I was thinking about the beautiful things God says about us in His ‘letter” to us...

You are loved (John 3:16)
You cannot be separated from My love (Rom 8:31-39)
You have been redeemed and forgiven (Col 1:13-14)
You are a child of Mine (John 1:12; Rom 8:14,15; Gal 3:26)
You are a friend of Jesus Christ (John 15:15)
You are a member of Christ’s body, our family (1 Cor 12:27)
You are chosen by Me; adopted as My Children (Eph 1:3-8)
You are heirs with Me and joint heirs with Christ (Gal 4:6,7; Rom 8:17)
You are hidden with Christ in Me (Col 3:3)
You have been bought with a price (1 Cor 6:19-20)
You are saved by grace (Eph 2:8)
You are a new creation (2 Cor 5:17)
You are righteous and holy (Eph 4:24)
You are justified (Rom. 5:1)
You are free from condemnation (Rom 8:1)
You may approach Me with freedom and confidence (Eph 3:12)
You are reconciled to Me (2 Cor 5:18)
You are a minister of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:17-21)
You are the light of the world (Matt 5:14)
You are complete in Me (Col 2:9-10)
You are My workmanship (Eph. 2:10)
You are My temple (1 Cor 3:16)
You are seated with Jesus Christ in the heavenly realm (Eph 2:6)
You can do all things through Christ, in His strength (Phil 4:13)
You are chosen by Me, holy and dearly loved (Col 3:12; 1 Thess 1:4)
You are more than a conqueror through Christ (Rom 8:37)
You are part of a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation (1 Pet 2:9)

Yet how many times do I read the ‘letter’ He has written me and doubt its truth? I can only imagine how He weeps when we refuse, when we can’t believe what He says about us. Much more than my earthly father, God would give anything for me to understand how much He loves me. In fact, He did. He gave His son. Knowing I would have a hard time and would need to be reminded over and over how much truly loves and cares for me, He set up ways for me the understand His love over and over.

He sent His son to die for me. He sent His word to convince me. He sends people and angels into my path to protect me and to love me. And sometimes he even wraps His arms around me, not physically, but in a way that feels so real I should be able to see Him.

Lord, in this season of giving help me to hear your voice – your message of love to me… to know your arms wrapped around me – through friends and family around me… and most importantly, help me to accept and believe that your love is true and real so I can share it with others. Help me to believe what you say about me is true so I can help others believe it about themselves.

Thank you so much for your many gifts…
xo

the NICU nurse's dinner

we've been doing some incredible tangible jesus stuff through our supper's we've been doing in "the house"...we had our bbq in june, then a supper in sept for our wonderful neighbors and some close friends. and then on the 1st of dec we had darlene's team from her floor at NICU - neonatal intensive care unit - at the bc children's hospital in vancouver.

it was a great time! the food was great, of course..jonathan and chris and jong, both friends of jonathan's from school, put together a wonderful menu!

the nurse's had a really relaxing time and even said they wanted to book us for next year! :) so cute. as a token and gift, we gave them each a bottle of hard-to-find wine that we said was somewhat a representation of them - hard to find, valuable women who give so much of themselves to their community through their job.

they were an awesome bunch of ladies!

here's a couple photos to capture the evening.
it dumped snow that day too! woo woo!!
























thank you for your prayers, as we love and serve thru these opportunities.
to look at the slideshow of the evening go to this link:

nurse's dinner

An update of the Reesor's

Well family and friends. It has been about 2 months since the last official update and there have been something’s to update indeed.

I have been working at the group home with at risk youth the last 2 months. I average about 2 shifts a week and depending sometimes more. I am working quite a bit over Christmas because I told them I was available.

As for the line painting job, it has been quite a time since I worked there given the rainy weather. I hope to be able to get some shifts there if this weather would cooperate.

All and all God is good and providing what we need each month in terms of rent and bills and everyday living, including some fun things. It has been an interesting season just sometimes not knowing how much work I will have and where that work will be.

Some of you have known Meryl has been looking at trying to move on from her job at Zookaz café and of recently she is moving on to be working with the YMCA and working in a before and after school program with young aged kids. She will go from 700-9 and then again from 230-6. It is about a 30 min. commute from our place so she will be able to come home in between shifts. She is hoping this will be an opportunity to work with kids and the other staff and to be a positive addition to the environment as well adding some great experience and opportunities to her resume. She will officially kick off on the 9^th of January so we will trust God will provide in our sporadic work schedules.

Regarding Mission Burnaby we have had some opportunities this month to be a part of hosting dinner parties for 2 different groups of people. The first group was the nurses that Darlene Wall works with at the BC Childrens Hospital. There were about 15 ladies that came out for an evening of fun and a wonderful meal just for them.

From what I saw they were amazed that we would do this, invite them over to the house, prepare a gourmet 5 course meal for them and simply bless and appreciate them for what they do day in and day out.

Jonathan had the opportunity to share some of the reason we believe God brought us out to Burnaby. That God has called us to be in relationship and to serve people and often we get some caught up in the busyness of life that relationship gets lost and forgotten about. As he shared this passionately some of the ladies had tears in their eyes.

The next group we got to share with was a handful of Church of God pastors from the Vancouver area. We were able to share with them in the same way with an amazing meal and fellowship and showing them we appreciate what they do as well, and often not seen. It was great to meet some new people and reconnect with some people again.

As for our Christmas plans it will definitely be a different experience in many ways.

I will be working at the home from the 22-26^th the 4pm-midnight shift. So we will try to spend the morning of the 24 and 25 together and maybe one day go help serve in a shelter downtown. The next weekend we will go to a Beauty and the Beast musicale which should be great too. The thing that keeps us going is knowing that we will see most of you in February in Estevan.

Bless you all in this Christmas season and we will be thinking of you guys.

Love Brian and Meryl

Brian's renga poem

Waiting, anxious, curious is where I find myself today.
Watching, listening, dreaming of what the future holds.
Secure, expectant, excited because I know who holds the future.

Observant, attentive, absorbing all my new surroundings
reflective, repentant, recommited because His work in others begins in me.

Finding, anticipated, wondering what life will show me next.
Glad, passionate, awakened because I find my place.
Peaceful, joyful, inspired because I am standing where I am now looking on the horizon of destiny . . adventure

Renewed sense of energy, of the calling that awaits.
Knowing my life is held in profound grace.

Jonathans

I exist in a paradox.
I am tired but more alive than I have ever been, confused by more clear, lonely yet more loved, afraid yet more bold, hurting yet more whole, longing and so aware of my emptiness but more full than I have ever been.
This journey has taken me away from all that is sure and into a land of fragility…this is the land of my dreams.

A land where my weakness is the answer to the cry of my generation; that they might know they are not alone and that the road they travel has companions, friends…family.
A land where my heart thirsts for more of this world’s inhabitants – a mosaic of broken pieces making up something beautiful, something authentic, something priceless.

And so I push.
I push for more for me; I push for more for them; I push for more for us.
Despite the fragility, I run, I fall, I trip, I crawl, I stand, I leap, I soar.

And find again this paradox.
Knowledge…and experience, faith…and action, fear…and release, dream…and reality.

Megan's Renga poem

I find myself in an unknown abyss
feeling nothing,knowing I was meant to fly.
Seeing hope, but I don't know how to grasp.

My creator has set me apart from the others
He has told me to jmp off the cliff

I wonder at these wings that I see, will they carry me?
Can I soar?
It is as though the very wind calls to me, joining with the voice of my saviour...."fly eagle fly"!

So I look at the reflection of myself in this dark abyss,
and I see who God has made me,
I smile for a moment...hands up high and I step forward, off this cliff knowing He carries me when my wings feel as though they can't...and then my heart feels.

my renga poem

I have to run quickly to help set up for the next supper at the MB house... but i'll share how my poem went.. great exercise er... and yes, no jokes, we need to do this once a month ;)


I'm searching and longing for a hope that resounds all around me
For a hope that I know is there as we dream of living
For a hope that will one day pour freely for others to see

I have found pain that echoes all around me
The pain is pouring freely for others to find hope

I am longing for new healing that will speak to those around me
For then I know I will be able to live and love freely
For then my dreams of truly living will be a reality others can see

I seek for a true heart beat, that will lead me beyond.
Not only does this beat breathe life, but it breathes a song that others will know they are not alone.

renga

so i hope someone else will update y'all on the nurses supper - ahem.. hint hint! i was in the kitchen with my hands in the sink most of the night so i didn't see reactions first hand for the most part. but from what i did hear second hand, everyone had a great time and felt very loved and honoured (which was our intent - hooray!) they even asked outright why we had chosen to host their party giving opportunity for the vision of mission burnaby to be spelled out briefly, so cool!

tonight we met and i led the group in the exercise i blogged about on Nov 16/07 called Renga.

Renga is Japanese writing where one person starts by writing 3 lines, then the next person adds 2 more lines, the next 3 lines and the last person 2 more, creating a 10 line poem... the challenge of the exercise is to listen and hear the writing of the first person and to continue in the rhythm and style that they are using.

In our case, my goal was for us to not only write cool poems but to give us a chance to express a bit of where we are at and allow the rest of the team to hear our hearts and kind of speak to where we are at indirectly... i'll share the poem I started... hopefully others will share theirs too because some pretty amazing stuff was written... thanks for sharing the journey with us!

Quietly she gathers, quietly she waits.
Waits for the lights to be turned on,
Waits for the dark night to turn day light.

Through the fog a glimmer, but she can't be sure...
So she sits still, silent, alone to wait out the passing night.

Slowly and peacefully a light breaks thru and falls upon her face.
A new dawn, a new day!
Cautiously, but with excitement rising, and eyes adjusting
she begins to finally see after so many dark days.

The dark days have taught her how much she needs the light.
This is where she wants to be: free, alive, full of purpose.

today

well, as of yesterday, all my course work is done. the past couple weeks have been fully crazy, and i've somehow managed to do significant research/writing on job, paul, and 5th century Athens with limited sleep. i'm so happy to be done. will post something about the journey i'm on with schooling in the next few weeks. it's hard to believe the term's done already...december is here.
today it's snowing...in fact the weathernetwork has a 'snowfall warning' for Greater Vancouver. not 'heavy' snowfall or 'winter storm warning'...just a warning that it's supposed to snow. in a city of steep hills, tight streets, and inexperienced drivers, snow is a big deal. but just a second ago i stuck my head outside, and snow was quietly falling. i realized that there's something in my DNA that loves snow [not the shoveling], especially when it falls in complete calm. i like the crispness and cleanness in the air...the refreshing renewal that settles as snow blankets everything. the snow leads to thoughts of loved ones and homes far away, of friends and family out on the frozen tundra of the prairies; on days like today that feels like the 'homeland'. thinking of you guys today.
the house is a buzz this morning. hayley's getting into stuff, caleb and his buddies [harry and stanley] are careening around upstairs, rosie's in the kitchen with her dad, and the rest of us are preparing for the dinner we are hosting tonight. yesterday, jonathan cooked up a storm...and i've gotta say that the soup we're serving is MAGNIFICENT!! still gotta decorate and get the table settings on...and of course the kitchen will be humming all day as j's chef friends arrive and we slowly transform into a high-end restaurant.
it's a beautiful day. we'll let you know how it goes.
thanks for thinking of us and praying for us.
sw

lessons from the bus trois

Sorry about the lengthy intermission... I was on a thinking fast :)

So I'm sitting in a bus on Kensington on my way to work. We are inching along slower than I can walk (well, maybe run!) I'm finally able to see the corner where we will turn right and the traffic will thin enough for us to travel at the speed limit at least. And I think about how enduring this stretch of the road is a requirement for getting to the next stretch. Finding beauty in the trees to my right and the stream of red lights in front and white lights behind helps to make the slow passing of time more enjoyable while I anticipate the stretch where the throttle can be opened up wide (unless of course someone pulls the "next stop" cord) and we can roar up the hill in a much more "going some place" fashion.

And I ponder... it seems sometimes the "slow" stretches, as painful as they are, are a prerequisite for the next stretch. Whether it's because we need the skills learned in the "slow" stretch to enjoy the "fast", to appreciate the "fast", or to endure the "fast".

Whatever the case, no road remains the same in either terrain, treacherousness or speed limit for its entire length. The only way to get the best out of life is to find the best in each stretch and revel it.

Thankfully God is good at helping us out with this... He has a way of making the seemingly complicated things much more plain for my simple brain.. but most of the time it takes me a while to catch on. :)

This is how I know myself...

I had the most excellent adventure at my writing class this week... We read a poem by Joy Hargo named "Protocol". The last two lines of the poem are "This is how I know myself. This is how I know who you are." For our opening write (kinda like warm-ups!) we were supposed to write starting with one of these lines...

This is what I wrote...

This is how I know myself…

I know myself as a quiet mouse. Skimpering behind the scenes, unbeknownst to those in the forefront. Following behind at a safe distance, close enough to hear but far enough to go unseen. Perhaps the plant behind the TV or the trinket behind the glass on the wall.

Occasionally, I jump off my stand or fall from high up on the wall, making a loud crash or breaking into pieces, scattering debris in all directions. I hurry quickly to gather all my pieces and put them back together as best I can. But it seems that every time I crash or every time I break, it becomes harder to put the pieces back together in a tight fit. So what this leaves is a rough creation, jagged in spots, with holes in others. Large cracks that lead to mismatched pieces. This is how I know myself…

On rare occasions, I find myself disassembled on the floor. And rather than quickly gathering my parts together in mismatched form, I allow them to sit, staring at each other. Noticing each other’s wounds and glories. Seeing the depths of the infections but also the scars left from healed wounds. This is when I really begin to know myself…

Then the next exercise was Renga, Japanese writing where one person starts by writing 3 lines, then the next person adds 2 more lines, the next 3 lines and the last person 2 more, creating a 10 line poem... the challenge of the exercise is to listen and hear the writing of the first person and to continue in the rhythm and style that they are using.

This is the collaboration that came out from my first three lines...

This is how I know myself...

On rare occasions I find myself disassembled on the floor.
Rather than quickly gathering my parts together in mismatched form
I allow them to sit, staring at one another

Slowly a pattern emerges, different from before
Allowing me a glimpse of another self

The darker bits are oddly comforting,
Cushioned as they are
Between family heirlooms and the prairie sun.

I know who I am
Strong, beautiful & ready for others to know me

I was astonished at the result. I have known the people in the class for under two months... I see most of them for 2 hours once a week... but this is what they come up with when they listened to my opening write and to some of my other selected writings in the last two months... It was so cool...

The lesson I learned on this day... courtesy of a wise wise man - It's not in the holding yourself together as one who can do it all, it is in the honesty of wrestling aloud, being truthful with sorrow and joy, admitting the struggles, and choosing to engage the pain rather than ducking that we truly know ourselves and allow others to know us and to journey with us.

The City

Thought I would post this. It is a poem penned by my mom about Manila, but it stirs my heart for this city.

I love you mom.

j

I love my city. I love my country.

I love the throbbing heartbeat

from traffic, factories...

love the skyscrapers crammed

with humanity...

i weep for the ghettoes...

where darkness falls and the children wail

from hunger and fear

and no one cares...

i ache with affection

for the lighted windows

in the sky,

where people like me

are living out their lives.

My heart stretches out through the night smog

wondering, wondering

who they are,

what they're doing,

what their lives are like.

I love the province...

the bumpy roads, the smell of rice straw burning...

the tiny markets,

the graceful palm trees, the green mountains,

the simple cheerful folk

who would give you the shirt

off their back to help you

i giggle at the the smiles, the laughter,

the friendliness of the people and the earth

away from the city...

the thump of the ocean as she curls herself

on the shore, shaking her surfy curls

in the sunset...

the breathless heat of the noonday

and the fresh breeze of morning

i love it all...

my land, my people,

my home.

lessons from the bus part 2

This morning when I got to the bus I was standing in the line of people and decided I needed a pen out of my bag. I can’t remember why. O ya, it was to write something down so I wouldn’t forget it. Ironic. Anyway…

So with my mitts on and my bag still over my shoulder, I started rooting around for a pen. I knew there were at least two in there so I was bound to find one, right? Well, not easily! I rooted around between my book and my notebook, my lunch and work security card, my gum and hand sanitizer, my ipod and random papers (By now your thinking – Mary Poppins bag. Almost!) I couldn’t feel a pen.

Maybe if I took my mitt off I’d have better luck? Sure enough, as soon as I slipped my unmitted hand into the uncharted depths of my bag it found a pen.

And again, just like yesterday, a thought popped into my head.

Sometimes for us to feel where we are going and be able to find what we are really looking for it requires that we strip ourselves of some of our protection – or we allow God to in the places we can’t.

I won’t even go into what I mean by protection. You can figure it what it means for you…

Just another random bus thought…

lessons of the bus

I got on the wrong bus today. Those of you who have labeled me the transit guru are probably laughing uncontrollably right now! Laugh it up!

I got to my second bus stop of the morning and I was so engrossed in my book (The 6th Lamentation by William Broderick – a MUST read!) that when the bus stopped, I didn’t even look at which one it was. I just got on.

After I was on and we started moving, I had the fleeting thought, “Did I get on the right bus? I’ve never seen this driver before.” Sure enough, a couple stops up he turned when he shouldn’t have. Dang.

I pulled the cord for the next stop, J-walked across the road (bad erin) and found the next correct bus stop and waited. After a few minutes of waiting I thought, “Maybe I missed the right bus when I got on the wrong one. I’m in the 4800 block and I only have to go to 4585, maybe I should just walk.”

After I’d walked half a block and was waiting to cross the street Murphy’s Law kicked in and the right bus went screaming by. Arg. I waited far too long to cross at a Y intersection and when I finally did, I realized that these were not normal length blocks. This just keeps getting better and better! I should have just waited!

So I picked up the pace realizing I wasn’t going to make it by 9 if I didn’t hoof it to the next stop in time to catch the next bus. Unfortunately, the next bus stop was far enough away I couldn’t even see it yet.

“Please don’t let the bus get there before me. Please don’t let the bus get there before me. Please don’t let the bus get there before me.” I chanted as I jog/walked around the curve. Yes! There it was and there was still someone there. Good sign.

When I got there I asked the lone waiter, “Do you know what time the next bus comes?”

“8:53 and it’s 8:51 now.”

Perfect. “Thanks.” Maybe I could still make it. 8:53 came and went. 8:54. 8:55. 8:56. Finally, I could see the bus. And it was the right one this time!

In the end, I made it to work by about 9:01 so all was well. But I couldn’t help but wonder what God might be trying to say to me this gray and drizzly Monday morning.

A thought passed through the vast expanse between my ears.“You got to work on time and that’s good but if you would have just paid attention and been patient things would have been significantly easier and better for you.”

Hmm. How many other parts of my life does that apply to…

campus pics

hey...
just found some pics of UBC's campus. thought i'd give ya the link...crazy beautiful. look at the fall ones, and then scroll down for a few shots from various places on campus.
http://www.cs.ubc.ca/~yizhengc/photo/photo.htm.
good night.
SW

learning

hey everyone...
it has been a while since i wrote anything on here. my running joke is that if i could submit my papers for blog fodder or read my class texts in order to share insight, i'd be set. surprisingly...no one bites when i say that. :)
many of you know that i'm going to school four days a week...and that darlene and i continue to flipflop schedules in an effort to stay sane and get Hayley outside[while also seeing each other every week]. and for the most part, it's been wonderful.
fall here, and especially on the UBC campus, really accentuates the beauty of this city we call home. one day last week, i sat in the open air commons outside the library...and looked north through thinning red/orange/yellow leaves across the radiant blues of english bay to the terraces of north vancouver and the lush greens of the mountains to the north capped by brilliant snow...all wrapped in the warmth of sunlight. what an incredible place to sit...and what i wonderful place to learn!!! check out the website to see for yourself. www.ubc.ca
the semester is about half over...and i've mostly adjusted to being a 27-year-old in class with youngsters. i'm studying in history and religious studies...and enjoying the tremendous challenge and insight. what i wanted to say tonight is that, much like our journey as a group here in burnaby...i'm being stretched to question and search through some of the 'quick' and hasty assumptions we make with regards to our own tradition. and by that, i mean some of the 'quick' ways we read scripture...and some of the hasty answers we conjure for big questions. this term i'm studying the book of job and the life of paul...both in the context of historical and literary criticism in one of canada's most specified faculties. and while that makes some of you cringe...and others of you move on to a different website [i.e. trace...chuckle], i'm finding the journey to be invigorating.
the truth is that...as we've often talked about our journey to/in vancouver being...jesus and His irresistable teachings MUST be here, even when the answers aren't what we thought they were. so...needless to say, i'm learning.
SW

our dinner party

The photo journal of a night filled with friends.

On September the 28th we hosted a dinner for our friends, people we have come to love in Vancouver.

our neighbours - jody and kristen and their three little boys...david and angela and their two kiddies...marcello and iola, angela's parents...mj and her two boys harry and stanley, who are caleb's best buds..aki and lena and their little girl who rosie goes to school with.

work friends - liz and mike and their little girl, the photographer tracey has been shooting with this summer...

and just friends - david and roberta, a great couple we met from tracey's BNI... daniel and bella, another couple we met and love dearly...angela and her daughter miranda, who tracey went to high school with... amber, a friend of lani's...josh and chantal, jonathan's brother and his girlfriend..

We had a 5 course meal made by the creative hands of 4 up-and-coming chefs. In an environment designed by our team, MissionBurnaby. It was beautiful...to have our friends all together eating and enjoying each other. The kids even had an incredible time downstairs with our child superhero, erin!

Enjoy the pics.

our living rooms turned into two dining rooms, dressed in autumn colors..

the first course: sun-dried tomato pesto salad..

just a glimpse of all 24 of us in our living rooms..















the chefs hard at work in the kitchen..
















the three chefs - jonathan, chris and susana






















susana putting together her native mexican dish, our second course: pollo con mole with poblano rice... YUM!!

the surprise palate cleanser - cucumbers with a salty tomato concoction!

jonathan preparing the pork vindaloo





















susana at the stove..





















chris putting the papadam on the vindaloo before serving it to our guests..















the 3rd course - pork vindaloo wrapped in naan bread...mmmmmmmmm!
















and the fourth course - ricotta ravioli with fennel sauce






















and the last course - DESSERT!! baklava & root beer floats!

child superhero erin and her dozen little people!

been having some fun doing what i love...

hey everyone.. been having a lot of fun "working".. sometimes i wonder if i can even call what i do work; i LOVE my job and it's always something i look forward to..the accounting side of it, however is an entirely OTHER story.. ;) but seriously, i love my job..i'm so blessed.

so check out my photo blog to see what i've been up to the last week.. :)

tracey's photo blog

xo
tracey

thankful...

There are alot of things I am very thankful for and remember to be thankful for all throughout the year. Things like family, far and near, friends, old and new, and God, unchanging. This Thanksgiving God has been reminding me of some of the things I often forget about and take for granted.

I am working today on the holiday so I can take another day off later when my parents come to visit. (super sweet!)
It's easy for me to forget to be thankful for my job. :)

I have a dentist appointment today too.
It's easy for me to forget to be thankful for teeth (and good health in general) and medical care (and now partial dental coverage - woot woot!)

We went to the grocery store Saturday to buy turkey dinner supplies.
It's easy for me to forget to be thankful for easy access to food and the money to buy it.

I slept in a warm, safe bed last night and took a hot shower this morning.
It's easy for me to forget to be thankful for a nice place to live, a peaceful country to call home and dependable electricity and running water.

I'm in "process" working through the "junk" in my life. Somedays painfully coming to the other side of it, somedays painfully staying right in the middle of it, somedays painfully avoiding it.
It's easy for me to forget to be thankful that Jesus continues to contend for me because He thinks I'm worth fight for.

The moments when I'm confident there is and was no other time but now for me to be at this exact place in life, I'm thankful for God's incredibly impeccable timing. But somedays, He reminds me again of how perfect it is and how grace filled He is. Today is one of those days.

a funny thing happened...

...on the way home from a film industry networking event i attended last night.

i was invited by my friend eng to go to this event..maybe make some good contacts. and there was FREE FOOD. like seriously, who can pass that up?? it was held in this really great cafe called calhoun's down in kitsilano on 4th.

so after the event eng and i are driving down hastings.
we're almost to willingdon (for those of you who arent' from here, none of this street name business will make sense..sorry!) and this copper flicks on his lights to go thru a red light, it seemed.

well if ANY of you know how i am in my car whilst driving it, i am all about justice for injust driving. so instantly i'm beeking to eng, "can you believe that cop? honestly, how do they get to just flick their lights on and go thru a red light? and look he's only a car ahead of me now. was it really worth it??"

you get my picture.. :)

so coming up to holdom, east on hastings still, and i noticed police lights in front of me on the side of the road, behind what seems to be a pulled over white van. the police mobile was a white volvo ghost car. so then i see my friend the cop pull around the guy in front of him, lights on, to then do what looks like a U-turn to go back down hastings the other way.

wrong.

he pulls right in front of the car in the lane next to mine to block the red car, with alberta plates i might add, and the volvo screaches in front of me, as i bash my brakes on, and in moments there are 4 cops around this car, to my left, one car up from my car.

and they had their guns pulled.

ok, when i saw that, i instantly thought, and said, "holy crap, they have guns, that guy must be a bad guy, oh god, what if the DRIVER has a gun and starts shooting?? i'd be shot!"

meanwhile, poor eng is trying to calm me down, i'm stunned and watching this drama outside my car and they finally get the guy out and put him on the ground and cuff him and take him away.

i'm stunned.
completely so, that the volvo driving cop comes to my window and says, 'thanks for stopping and not hitting me'. and i'm like, 'ya', and wondering if i should drive away or what..

so we begin to drive away.
and then i realize why waaaaaaaay back at willingdon mr cop man had went thru the red light to get ahead.. and why mr volvo cop man was "faking" pulling someone over..

unbelievable.

that was more action than any film industry event could have put on.

:)

here I am again

well people in blog world. here is a little bit of my adventure the last while.
I am taking some addictions counseling courses from a college in vancouver which have been going pretty good and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel of being completed. one more left after this one i am almost done. More about what perhaps this schooling will be used for other than holding a slow sign or driving in a truck.:-)
I was going to catch the bus downtown after work one night/morning, it all runs together and I saw a poster on a pole for some addiction seminar forum thing. I emailed the contact and he told me they were talking about what to do about the addiction problem in, specifically, downtown vancouver. One of the recent assignments was to present a story of an addicted or recovered person and tell their story and tell perhaps why they fell into addiction and how they recovered. I was reading a book by a guy named Monty Lewis, (phenomenal story, short bathroom read, google it, its 5 bucks) who founded cons for christ and told a bit of his story of brokeness, addiction, violence and all the many prisons he was in all over Canada. I had 5 mins to share so I read excerpts to the group about his coming to the end of his sanity and his need for peace which God gave him through his desparate prayer. And shared how his life was changed from that prayer on. One lady asked to borrow the book, and that was one of my goals. And This next meeting we are to bring a story of a self help or spiritual methods used in the war against addiction, I am going to talk a bit about teen challenge which is a faith based organization all over the world and 12 in Canada that uses biblical principles and methods for young men and women committed to a year and God does miraculous work in the lives of these young people. So its been cool to be a part of this "seminar" and to get to share glimpse of true freedom, found in Jesus. One guy said this at the meeting to me, "I am ok with God, I just dont like his fan club" argh... its so true sometimes sometimes I go and mess up who Jesus truly is and people are turned off, but there is hope and thankfully its not me.

So we have been out out in Vancouver now for 3 months and it has flown like a bird that flies really fast, hmmm maybe a hummingbird( they actually fly backward, weird) anyway. I am currently working for a line painting company that does most of the lines and intersections in this area and beyond, so its been good. good guys i work with and some good money but definitely not a life calling and they shut down when it gets to the real rainy season. You might wonder what I do, well if we are working on a busy road I help put out cones and redirect traffic so they can put the lines down without getting hit, then I sweep the line to get rid of the grit so its smooth, sometimes I drive the truck behind the “line guys” so the traffic is directed to the other lane. Well its not really paint at all, its plastic, hot plastic that is kept hot in a propane fired kettle, it last longer than paint and dries much quicker, if you want to know more email me and I will tell you.

So its been good times, and at the end some real good lines are showing up on the pavement, and to think I had a part in that.. sniff. It’s a beautiful thing. So this rainy week I worked one day,(trusting tomorrow stays dry) needless to say I am looking for another job to prepare for the end of this job. I had an interview today at a risk youth assessment and receiving home where the kids are placed there until better arrangements are made with the goal trying to be reuniting them back with their parents if its possible and safe for them. 13-18 yr old and co-ed so like whoah is what I am thinking,( like a mini youth all nighter gone bad) there are 7 kids at a time. I am going to be doing some orientation/observation shifts this next week to see if we all fit together and then perhaps start working there on a contract basis. 8 hours a day, varying days per week.

I am excited for something more where my heart is youth and being there for them. This is where this addictions counseling courses might come in to play.
Meryl is working at a cafe in the Vancouver general hospital and enjoying it and they love her there, who wouldn’t, and old men often hit on her and tell her they would work for a pretty girl like her, but this is where trust comes into our relationship:-0 but she feels there is more for her in this life than serving coffee to doctors and nurses fulfilling their dreams. So we are waiting to see what this fall and spring hold for her. Pray for us in our search for the places we work, people we are placed with here and the seasons we are in.

peace

About time...

Well, good news in my world. I have a job! I'm going to be starting next week at Building Opportunities with Business Inner City Society. I'll be working in the downtown eastside of Vancouver as an Employment Support Coordinator. The hope is to bring life to a very dismal part of Vancouver. How do you connect businesses, with those that need jobs, without displacing the homeless that call this area home? I'm going to find out.. or rather, it might just be my job to find out. Eeesh!

Thank you for everyone that was praying for my job... I think I might need you to keep praying as I start! The next step is to find an apartment and roommates.

Have a beautiful day everyone!

This is Me-gan

Hey peeps! For those out there who don't live or are in good contact with the Burnaby team...Yes, I am sill alive and I am still going...It's just been a long process of waiting, and being very paticent. God isn't finished with me here in Estevan yet, even though I want to badly go...I want to so badly go that I count every morning how many days left I have till I fly out there. As a matter of fact, only 47 days! Also, it's 47 days until my birthday. (Nice birthday present hey?) As I recall on my birthday last year Scott said to me, "Hey, by this time next year you'll be in Burnaby". I never knew that Scott would be prophetic, in knowing the exact day I would get there. Thanks Scott, I think i'll listen more closely when you speak. :)

Everyone is also wondering why the heck I don't write on here more often, well when you work a 12 hour days for 6 days of the week, I'm just not in the mood to write. But thank you for your paticence. Greatly appricated.

Where I am at. Crazy actually, God is slowly revealing to me why I am to be here for the 3 extra months. You know what's more crazy, I think that all this is teaching me how to be more relational with God, and with people. I actually believe I'm more prepared to live in the "BIG" city then I was a month and a half ago...It's been really good and really hard because I am impaticent, and I want to do the dream now! I want to live like I don't have a tomorrow. When trusting God, he sometimes doesn't lead you in that direction. Funny how God works.
One thing God asked me to do is prove how much I love Estevan to him, by praying for it. Nothing big, nothing fancy, no program, just trusting God and letting him lead and the direction he wants to lead me in. So, my friend Dani and I have called it Aroma , and it's on Sunday nights at 6:30. Anyone is invited to go and love Estevan by praying for it. It's been amazing! I truly believe that God is breaking not just our walled hearts, but Estevan's. We've been on different locations and just praying what God puts on our hearts. Example: Skate park, Schools, churches, the beef bar, the courthouse, and many more. Let me just say, GOD IS AMAZING!!! I would love to do this more often...In Burnaby.
I just know that God has been putting me in places and with people in Estevan for a reason. Just the other day I had coffee with a friend an wow, God just opened the door for me, and I had the choice bold and to be just honest of where I am and who I am in Christ, to just be real. And I know that God is so in our conversation, and I know that my choice will affect her life. Just because it was amazing...thank you JESUS!

There is so much more that I could just write on but...it's alot!

Just wanted you to know that I am alive, and that God is doing just amazing things in my environment. Love you all!

Hey everyone,

So there is this really cool girl staying at the Burnaby house for a bit. God somehow has intersected our lives right now, where she is taking time out to be and heal.

She gave me permission to post this poem that she wrote one afternoon out on the front steps about where she is at in her journey of life right now.

Read it and weep. Keep in mind, if she was reading this to you... there would be a really great back beat.

alive somewhere in the great divide,
not separated by space or time but melting in your kindness,
designed, creatively planned and organized,
continually surprised by the opening of earth and sky,
heart and mind
communication with the divine,
God speech breaths to mine.
What are these words, heard
when once cold and unfeeling,
I'm being swerved by the sound of silence,
broken by the loudness of your whisper
gently holding me,
free...I wonder and I quiver,
thawing slowly like the slow melt of winter,
fearfully warmed by the sun, letting the water run
down the face of my hard exterior,
superior is your wisdom to mine,
and i find now I breakdown,
I will not be crushed, but held.

tHe sHApe oF Me aND oThER sTuFf

for those of you who dont know, "the shape of me and other stuff" is a title of a dr seuss book i read as a kid. what does it have to do with my blog? absolutely nothing. :)

so word on the street is you cats at home in estevan wanna hear "real life" stuff. so that's what i'm gonna do.. basically tell you all that's going on in our personal little journey with our little family here in burnaby... get a cup of something warm and get comfy..this is going to be FAR from short. ;)

what do our days look like here? well..i suppose first would be getting out of bed - and on tues/wed/fri am's at 815 caleb goes to before school cross country practise.
he got #19 in about 120 kids his age on his first meet. i was fairly teary eyed.

then the kids get taken to school for 9 and from there it can go many different ways...some days that's when i go for groceries - the least busy time to do that at costco or superstore..or i will go to the community school office at the kids school and look in my "president" drawer for anything i should know/tell/see etc.. the beauty is i co-president with a lady, angela, who has been onthe parent's association for a few years, so i let her take the reigns for most of it.. :) i do more of the hands on stuff, cuz i have more time (hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!) then she does...and you thought I WAS BUSY!! :)

i love my "job" tho - photography - cuz i can make up my schedule to my liking - i dont do the 9-5 thing and get bored and be "at work" all day. thats a beautiful thing about my job. i love my job. i love that i get to be with people, most of which dont think they are photogenic..so i get to show them otherwise! yesterday jonathan and my friend tanya helped me doing a food shoot down on granville island at a restaurant. jonathan was my "food stylist" and tanya my "reflector girl". it was so much fun.. and that shoot will for the most part pay for next months' rent - thank you jesus! the crazy thing about my job too, is that i dont have a "set" salary/income.. so talk about trusting the lord to make good contacts to then book appointments. but god always comes thru JUST when we need the work/money. isn't that always His way tho?? :)

keeping the common areas of the house is a full time job in itself, so i do that sportatically during the day when i can..with all the traffic, it seems sweeping and washing the floors is a very regular occurance.. and keeping on my kids to pick up their stuff cuz the space isn't "ours" to clutter can be tiring too! i would have to say this is the hardest part of my life...where it causes me the most "grief and stress".. anyhow, moving right along! :)

jonathan's on a 2 week break from school so that has been awesome to have him home to be here..i'll let him blog about school.. :)

we're planning a dinner party for friday..for our neighbors and some co-workers and friends. we've got 17 coming plus our 7 i think..plus 8 little people. :) it's going to be wonderful - jonathan's got his chef pose from school are putting together a 5 course meal! CAN NOT WAIT! and maurice and his buddies are going to be doing some live music..it's going to be AWESOME! :) :)

but i will tell you one little thing that pertains to jonathan, sort of.. someone back home gave us $1000 for a coffee machine for the house, for when we do these dinners/parties. long story short - we got the coffee machine, regular $2500, for a crazy price of $1200, all thru jonathan telling the sales lady about the "use" of the machine, which led into what we are doing here at mission burnaby. she's coming tonight for supper actually, and will give us a tutorial of how to use this big coffee monster! god is so cool, hey!? :)

the kids often play with both sides of neighbors - olivia and jack on one side, and graeme, keaton and charlie on the other.. cant say it enough, but we are soo blessed to have both families next door..so great how god gives your kids instant friends!
calebs best buddies stanley and harry (korean brothers who are here on a student exchange) just live in the adjacent apartment building from brian and meryl, which is just down the street from us. i woudl have to say they come over to play 5 days of the 7 and always sleep over on the weekend. :) their mom MJ is coming too on friday for the dinner. :) they're such a sweet family.

other "normal stuff".. hmmm...got the car serviced last week..need to get the childrens's teeth serviced soon, but that will have to wait until i get some fabulous shoot to pay for it! hee hee.. looks like it's almost tim eto do the fall yard work...leaves are starting to turn, trees need to be pruned. speaking of which, our garden! we got some good produce from it..and some not so good from it. we knwo what we'll plant next year and not plant. currently we are getting some sweet cucumbers!! :) :) downstairs got a new dryer, as the other one broke.. after coffee machine tutorial tonight, the instrucional CD will be played for all who intend to use it.. not even kidding.. :) hee hee

the dog - pacey - has been escaping the yard..near missing getting hit and barking at people on the sidewalk...DUMB DOG! he's squeezing his measly little body UNDER the steel gate. so hopefully j will get to fixing that this week.

i think that is all i can think of now..i'm looking after hayley this aft - taking her to her gymnastics (jesus help me!!)... then coming home to do a bunch of emailing to clients and business people..more laundry..perhaps some tea time in there...a scrabble game too i hope!

thanks for letting me just talk.. :)

talk soon,
hugs,
trace

Our Apartment

life

well i figured i'd just write a little of what's going on here in Burnaby with me just to keep everyone up to speed.

we're pretty much all unpacked and settled into our apartment... there are times when it's hard to look out the window and see the view that we see, i feel an innumerable amount of emotions when i do, homesickness, fear, excitement, wonder... just to name a few. but all that to say, it's an incredible blessing to be here.

on friday brian and i are going to be part of a weekend seminar called "Life in the Margins" at Jacob's Well which is in the downtown eastside of vancouver, one of the poorest postal codes in Canada. I'm really excited to be part of this - although am sad because we're missing out on an amazing dinner party that will be going down at the Mission Burnaby house... :( such is life i guess.. but i really feel God has something for me at this seminar, whether it be a softening in my heart, a new spark to the fire he's blazing inside of me... anything, i'm going with great expectancy from Him! the seminar is going to be about how we as Christians are called to respond to the poverty and homelessness in our city. What does Jesus say? What does he ask of us? I have something in my heart that cries out for the homeless... for those of you who don't know, my real dad was an alcoholic and addicted to drugs, and he actually overdosed and died here in vancouver... when i see the broken homeless men on the streets i see my dad who i never knew, and I long to be part of a renewal... an awakening.. not just in their lives, but in mine, because there are parts of me that are lost and homeless, so poor and desperate. My heart wants to be part in finding true richness... and it terrifies the crap out of me... but i still long to push toward it...

aside from that... this season of mine and brian's life is hectic, we ask for your prayers. he works insano hours... sometimes he comes home from work at 7:00 in the morning just as I'm heading out the door to catch a bus at 7:20... sometimes if it works out right we can meet at a train station as i'm getting off work and he's going to work to have a slice of pizza... we know it's just for a season, he's not going to be doing this job for much longer... just a month or two, but in it please join us in praying for a unity, as well that God would provide a perfect job for him working with youth and using his addictions counseling certificate...

hmm, i think that's all i'll ramble on about... i miss you all back in saskatchewan...
love you all!

Astrid & Veronika by Linda Olsson

I read a story this weekend about two women… one young, unmarried, isolated by circumstance, and in pain. The other old, widowed, isolated by choice, and in pain. It was an amazing story of how our secret pains can completely cripple and embitter us if we keep them secret and keep them to ourselves. I don’t agree with all of the things the two women in the book believed or come to realize but a few of their observations were quite profound. Here is one…

“I have never talked to anyone about that night. Ever,” she said. “And now when I listen to my own words, I realize that they tell a different story from the one I have carried all these years.” The old woman closed her eyes. “I think that if we can find the words, and if we can find someone to tell them to, then perhaps we can see things differently. But I had no words, and I had nobody.”

Astrid came to this conclusion the night she finally told her new and only friend Veronika about the day her infant child died. I think Astrid is right. How often we try to walk alone in our pain and even in our sin, scared of what people will say or do if they find out how imperfect and human we are. I think God weeps when he sees us isolate ourselves and each other. I don’t know why for sure I think that but I do. I don’t know where is says in the bible that God’s desire is not that we walk alone, easy prey for the enemy whose desire is to destroy us. Maybe it doesn’t at all.

But the message of the gospel is peace and love, hope and life and I don’t think any of those things are meant to happen in a box, in isolation. Nor can they really. Somehow when we find the courage to share the thoughts that bounce around in our heads, the memories that haunt our dreams, awake and asleep, the scars of the hurts of life, or the negative things we believe about ourselves, the act of saying them out loud to another person filters them and helps us sift the truth from the lies. Often, though the reality of what we have done or what has been done to us cannot be changed, what we believe about ourselves as a result of it needs to be changed for us to survive.

Jesus is the Way, the Truth and the Life. He wants us to know the truth and He wants the truth to set us free. And sometimes, perhaps all the time, we cannot see that truth without the help of those around us who love us.

He offers....

In December a couple of years ago, ok more like 7 or 8, I was busy Christmas shopping for my family. We often had this deal where we would all go shopping together and show each other stuff that we wanted and then the buyers would have some ideas. Kinda takes out the element of surprise but it's really quite practical and my family is nothing if not practical. So shopping over, we tried to keep things secret but we aren't as good at secret keeping as we are at being practical. I'm not anyway.

Needless to say, I saw the gift that my brother bought me. It was wrapped so I couldn't see its specifics but I knew what it was. Time travel with me for a second, remember the era of those trippy, shiny-like pictures of lions and tigers you could get. The ones where when you looked at them from different angles, the colors changed. They almost looked metallic and they were usually in gold hues. They were quite gaudy and rather ugly (my apologies if you liked them or still have them hanging up!)

Anyway, I saw the wrapped present my brother bought. About 11" x 14", flat, kinda looked like it could be a frame of some sort. And I saw the gaudy picture store in the mall. And I put two and two together and knew what his present was and was even more sure I didn't like it.

What was he thinking? Didn't he know me at all? He'd been my brother for almost 20 years, was I that hard to buy for? Really? Man I hated this gift exchange thing. Boys don't know how to buy presents!

Wow, the Christmas spirit was oozing out of me! NOT!

I told my sister what I thought about his gift. She, being the level headed one (well, in this story anyway) said, "He won't have bought one of those pictures. Don't worry, you'll like what he bought."

"No I won't! I hate those stupid pictures. What a waste of 10 bucks!"

Days went by and Christmas came. We all ended up at my parent's house and the time for the unveiling of gifts came. I don't remember for sure but I'm guessing my attitude was less than stellar that Christmas eve. As I psyched myself up to act delighted when I tore off the wrapping I was met with surprise.

When the paper came off, I found out my sister was right. The picture wasn't a gaudy, color-changing tiger, it was a really cool, matted, sepia picture of daisies (my favorite flowers) that would match perfectly with the living room decor in my house.

My brother did know me. Better than I knew him obviously.

You might ask, "Where did that memory come from? It's not even close to Christmas shopping time yet!" Interestingly enough, what triggered it had nothing to do with Christmas.

I was reading Acts 3, the story of Peter and John healing the lame man at the gate called Beautiful.

“The man looked at them expectantly, hoping that they would give him something. “If you are expecting silver or gold,” Peter said to him, “I have neither, but what I have I will certainly give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk!”” (Phillips translation)

God was speaking to me about expectation. How often do I not take what God is offering because all I can see is what He’s not offering. He’s not offering me a trip around the world, or a new car, or a boyfriend, or a high paying job. I know that much because if He was I’d sure jump on that offer!

But the beggar, who was looking for silver or gold had the good fortune of hearing the choice, plain as day. Nothing or healing, I don’t have money but I can offer you new legs. When he heard the choice, he took the healing.

Of course he did! What idiot would pass up being able to walk again!

What if he hadn’t been willing to listen when Peter and John said, “Look straight at us.” Would he still have been healed? He’d still be sitting at the gate.

Do I listen for what God wants to offer me? Or do I have my selective hearing aid on? If exactly what I want at this exact moment is not being offered, I hear nothing. I tune out in fact. What if God wants to offer me healing and all I want is a new job so I’m not even willing to listen to His offer.

Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. What am I leaving “unopened” because the wrapping isn’t what I’m looking for?

Just like my conclusion in the memory about my brother’s gift…
God does know me. Better than I know him obviously.

Peace

Reflecting on this the last couple of days…as we wrestle through hard days…

It seems to me that peace has come to mean the time when there aren’t any battles…or at least no major wars. Beggars can’t be choosers and I think that most of us would settle for that.

But in the Hebrew language, peace is the word shalom. It means: fullness or wholeness. Having everything you need to wholly fully and joyfully yourself. How many of us truly know what it means to be us…ourselves. We live in the shadow of fear of rejection, judgement, abandonment, failure…and we end up hiding in the caves of our past…longing for peace but afraid to hope for it.

One of the titles by which Jesus is known is Prince of Peace, and he used the word himself in what seems at first glance to be two radically contradictory utterances. On one occasion he said to the disciples, “Do not think that I have come to bring peace on earth; I have not come to bring peace but a sword” (Matt. 10:34). And later on, the last time they ate together, he said to them, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you” (John 14:27).

The contradiction is resolved when I begin to realize that for Jesus, peace is not the absence of struggle…but the presence of love…which unlocks the treasures that fear keep locked in our hearts. Peace. Wholeness. Acceptance. Hmmm.

Coming fully alive…so we are truly able to be us. At peace with the place we are at in the journey with Christ…at peace with who we are…and who we aren’t. Sounds kinda beautiful.

Just thoughts.

love

Could love be the language of our generation’s apologetics?
Let me give you a peak at what I’m discovering…as I learn to live by faith (and not fear – that is another conversation)

How many of us have lived under the pressure of becoming a great debater in order to share this message of hope and peace, called the good news.
You know what I mean, someone who can argue someone towards Jesus.

What happens if I allow someone the space to honestly seek God as I choose to journey with them? I am discovering that Jesus is really interested in revealing Himself. If fact, Jesus said...seek and you WILL find. If we are really seeking...we all discover that what (or who) we all seek…His name is Jesus.

It’s a supernatural, mystical and powerful experience where Jesus becomes real personally. Getting hit over the head with enough facts does not get anyone to that point. There are some who move in that intellectual world, but I think that there is an entire generation longing for an encounter with Him…and we can’t explain anyone into that, it just happens, and life as we know it is over.

Could it be that God is calling us to ‘prove’ who Jesus is by allowing Jesus to be Jesus in people’s lives as we are great representatives of Him.

How do we truly represent the reality of Jesus?

What does this look like? Could it mean being real. Giving. And faith. Or how about this…we know how to be a friend.

We live in a world where there is desperation and longing, and a hunger to connect deeply with other human beings. And the only path to true relationship is Jesus. He is the only one who can give us the grace and ability to truly love someone other than ourselves.

What if the church became the best friends the world ever had…hmmm, sounds like Jesus who is called ‘friend of sinners’...

Dreaming.

Quick Life/Heart Update

Just last Friday Brian and I moved out of the house and into an apartment just down the street... the apartment complex is great, decked out with a pool, hot tub, sauna, gym... all that fun stuff. We're situated on the 15th floor with probably the most amazing view ever... we get to wake up and go to sleep to downtown burnaby on our left, downtown van in the middle and the beautiful mountains on the right... it's really incredible.

God's shown me that He's given us this apartment for to pray over the city... I'm excited to do that as a team in the near future.

As we did some unpacking this past week I've struggled with feeling homesick. I think its simply that the last time we had all this stuff out was in Estevan... I unpacked boxes I remember packing with Tiffany... unpack gifts that people sent with us, wedding presents, the church family blessed us with, it's just been emotional for me.

Also now that school has started up all over the city getting use to the buses and skytrain has to happen for me all over again... before sure it was a little packed, but sometimes i still got to sit down, didn't normally have to wait in line... and rarely ever couldn't fit on a bus or train... now every single day there's never a place to sit... but always people squished up against me to hold me up... haha, the lines are enormous, and i usually can't fit on the first bus/train that comes, and to top it off, i got off work at 4:30 and got home from work after 6:30 (when normally it takes me 1/2 hour to get there...) all that to say, I was missing 1st of all, having a car, and 2nd of all traffic jams of 4-6 cars.... heck i was even missing waiting at a train for 20 minutes. It just all sort of happened at once and my heart struggled with all that's so foreign and uncomfortable for me... but I'm so happy God knows me and he knows what I need and what I can handle... and He's stretching my heart.

Other than that work is going good... I really like the place I'm at - a cafe in the Vancouver General Hospital - it's always busy, my co-workers are fun and the days go by super fast... and I got to serve Eric McCormack the other day! For those of you who don't know who it is, he's Will from Will and Grace... for those of you who don't know what that is... it's ok... he's kinda famous, and it was really exciting... hehe...moving along....

I hope this doesn't get too long, but I also wanted to share kind of a continuation of my last blog, and a continuation of what God is doing in my heart...

This evening I read 1 John 1:5-7, it says: "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you; God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

...if we walk in the light we can have fellowship with others... what does this mean? That our sin and impurity doesn't just affect me??? or even just my relationship between myself and others... it inhibits my relationship..."fellowship" (ie: The condition of sharing similar interests, ideals, or experiences, as by reason of profession, religion, or nationality) with others... others that i'm committed to on this 'church plant', others i'm committed to in my family, in my workplace, in my life... believers and non-believers.. it simply puts a wall up between myself and any relationship.

I see how that's so real in my life. My darkness... the darkness that I allow in my life, my sin, my fear, my selfishness, it prevents me, it holds me back. It blinds me from communicating with Jesus honestly and wholly. I tend to hide or avoid real time with him, because I know He wants to call me out of the darkness that I've gotten so comfortable with... my eyes have adjusted to the dim, dark light, but I know and He knows it's still bad for them... it's blinding me.

It keeps me from pure and real relationship with people because I let my "god" which is my fear and pain (ugh) determine when I speak... or if I speak, when I give... or if I give. Everything becomes filtered through this grime... my heart and being becomes more and more clogged and closed...

It even keeps me from knowing myself... I let the darkness in my life define me, instead of the One who Created me...I let my darkness speak louder than my Jesus.

Where there is light, darkness cannot be. Lord let your light shine brighter... ugh! I say that as if there's something wrong with the light... Oh forgive me Lord, help me Lord to open the doors so that your light can shine more freely, no longer just under cracks of the doors but bust the doors down in my heart and mind so that the truth and the light can shine without apology into those dark places that I've let become "part of who I am"... let your light shine over those dark lies and may I be all that YOU'VE created me to be.

I pray that for all of us... here in Burnaby... out in Estevan and everywhere else. That we'd recognize where we've become accustomed to the darkness, but that our eyes would be opened up to where it's beginning to blind us in our relationships.

In the same area of scripture it also says:

"Whoever claims to live in him must walk as Jesus did."

"The man who says, 'I know him,' but does not do what he commands is a liar and the truth (light) is not in him."

and finally ending with my hope:
"The darkness is passing, and the true light is already shinning."
Thank you Jesus :)

This is way longer than planned... sorry! Thanks for reading.