Brian's journey from door to door to calling strangers, to spinning a gambling wheel??.

well well well. look who it is, Mr. Reesor. out of the shadows.
well not really but it has been quite the time since I came to offer whatever I am offering on this blog site.
the job search has been interesting for me, and thus consuming a lot of my life this past month.
From doing door to door marketing for natural gas and BC childrens hospital, to cold calling for a guy to try to sell some expensive paintings through an art consultant, to having an interview at the Burnaby School board and that not working out, to going to a construction job fair(you heard that right, me at a construction job placement agency) to applying at a nice waterfront restaurant, to which I could have started as a bus boy, oh and thats not all.
It has been quite the journey and the adventure. working with different types of people for short periods of time and learning some new things.
I had an interview at Vancouver Christian School and I thought it went good, but I got the fateful call telling me otherwise. Then I was like God what am i supposed to do?
Meryl told me to look for something heavy duty and just make some good money and I was like thats not really what I do. but i looked under labor jobs the next day and the first one on the screen was for a road worker, $15/hr, long hours so i said hey might as well email the guy and so I did. And here we come to the end of my job search being employed by Scottish Line Painting, where like the name is, we paint or thermoplastics lines on the newly paved roads and intersections. so here I am, excited, a bit nervous but happy to have a job. oh and how can i forget my latest job- working at the fair as a Blackjack and money wheel spinner, trying to convince people to gamble. wow. i tell you, that was an interesting 2 days. and I probably should save the Ugly outfit party for another blog. hopefully those reading this can get a glimpse of a little bit of my experience here. want to know more, email me at brianreesor1@hotmail.com or just ask on the blog. its good to know non mission burnaby people are reading this. love you all.
brian

saved

Joseph's brothers tried to murder him by throwing him into a pit, but if they had ever been brought to trial, any lawyer could have got them off. Not only did Joseph have offensive dreams in which was a saviour-type and they were all groveling at his feet but he recounted them in sickening detail at the breakfast table the next morning. He was also his father's favorite and they seethed at the sight of the many coloured coat he flaunted while they were around in t-shirts and dirty jeans.

After tossing him into the pit, the brothers decided to tell Jacob, their father, that this favorite had had a fatal tangle with lion with a bad attitude. They even produced a blood(goats blood) stained shirt as evidence. Jacob was convinced. no worries.

Long story short, Joseph winds up in Egypt where he is bought by a military man named Potiphar. He gets himself in deep trouble over a false accusation, Potiphar's wife accuses him of trying to molest her...Joseph ends up in the slammer. But, as the story goes, Pharaoh gets wind of Joseph's ability to interpret dreams and springs him to see what he can do with the couple of wild ones he has had. Joseph nails it, and subsequently becomes the head of the Department of Agriculture and eventually #2 in terms of power in the nation.

Here is where I was struck this morning...years later Joseph's brothers, who had long since succeeded in putting the terror of their actions out of their minds(or at least numbing the pain), turn up in Egypt too...looking for food as famine has swept their land.

Joseph knew them right off...but they did not recognize him.

I have always wrestled with what Joseph did over the next couple of chapters in Genesis. Why? Why the games?

Maybe he couldn't resist getting a little of his own back for a while. He pretended that he thought they were spies. He gave them grain to take home but made one of them stay as a hostage. He planted silverware in their luggage and accused them of 'liftin it' from his house. Maybe he was testing them to see if they had changed...were they still mean and willing to do whatever they needed to to get their way? Maybe he just enjoyed watching them squirm...what we do know is that part of Joseph's heart was so moved that he had to get out of the room in a hurry so they couldn't see how his heart was so full. Scripture says he wept loudly. a full heart. full of emotion. pain. memories. coulda, shoulda, woulda's.

Finally its seems he has had enough. He tells them. And they all fall apart. weeping and embracing. The whole family relocates to Egypt.

What is interesting is that the moment of truth comes when Joseph's dad, Jacob dies. The brothers start wondering, with dad gone is the generous, forgiving Joseph going to disappear? Will he get his payback? So they find him and fall on their knees begging him to forgive them.

I love Joseph's words: Don't be scared. Of course you are pardoned. Do you think I'm God to grovel before me like this?

In the old days, of course, God was just who he'd rather suspected he was and the dream where they groveled were his all time favorites.

random thoughts:

1. This is a story of how Joseph's brothers spent much of their life defined by one terrible moment. A decision to get whats theirs. They can't shake it, and the deep pain, sorrow and regret mark all of them, for their whole lives. They were seemingly forever tied to what they had done...until they were able to look what had happened fully in the face...and hear the words pardoned. How many of us live like this? running, dodging, hiding...desperately afraid that what we have done, will catch up to us...when Jesus calls us to stop, turn around(this is what repent means...with a different spin) and face it. And come to Him, who is the only one who can truly pardon. what a picture.

2. Almost as much as it is a story of how Israel is saved from famine and death, it is a story of how a man is saved. And I am talking about Joseph. His journey started with his intoxication with his destiny, place and incredible potential...I mean obviously he was going to go far...shoot, with the dreams he had, wow, what a gifted young man...sigh. Yet his heart was in no condition to understand and embrace what he was seeing. All he saw was power, position and who he was going to be.

The journey is was saved him. betrayal. pain. loneliness. false accusations. servant hood. selflessness. love. It is moving to see that this once young man was salvaged in the darkness of what he could not understand. Did he think of his dreams in prison? probably.

It would be interesting to ask the Lord which of the two achievements was more precious and maybe captured more of His attention: providing food for a people, or saving a man....and which one he was prouder of.

just thoughts

j

interesting quote..

i read an interesting quote today in a book called "Bird by Bird" by Anne Lamott...

"you can safely assume you've created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do..."

just another subtle reminder (or perhaps not so subtle) that when we assume that we (and by we I mean I but it hurts less if I say we...) and God have the same opinion on everything we are probably fooling ourself. i know, that's a strong statement but I think it's pretty valid.

some of us say we have the same opinion as God and maybe in our brain we do, but do our lives back up those "opinions" we say that we have all the time?

just a thot...

you know you're desensitized when...

The most unreal thing happened today. Meryl and I headed downtown to go to a walking meetup group at 10:30 am. When we switched trains at Commercial/Broadway we had to wait on the platform for a couple minutes before the train came. While we were waiting, one came on the other side, going the other direction.

We noticed there was a bit of a commotion on the other side just as our train pulled up. We got onto the train just as a voice was saying, "Put the scissors down! PUT THE SCISSORS DOWN!"

We looked across the platform to see the other train waiting with its doors open. Right beside one of the doors, there was a man who was agitated, twitching, shaking, maybe high or drunk, or both. Facing him, about 8 feet away from him was a guy pointing a gun at him. That's right! A GUN!

The guy was mid-30s, wearing a striped polo shirt, cargo shorts, tennis shoes. He said it again, "Put the scissors down."

The scissor guy started backing up, away from the gunman, around the stairs in the middle of the platform. Toward OUR side of the platform, where the doors of our train still stood open. He was coming up our side of the platform now, toward the doors that we were standing just inside of. You could feel all of the passengers of the train collectively move away from the doors.

The gun man was still following the scissor guy. They were kind of running now. Another pursuer came into our line of sight.. mid-50s, gray hair, gray sweat pants and shirt, tennis shoes... As he passed by the doorway at a jogging pace, we could see that he was carrying a gun in his right hand and talking to his left shoulder, "We're in pursuit of a 55 year old caucasian male..." And he was out of earshot. We had just witnessed the Vancouver Undercover Police in action.

Our train doors closed and I was looking around for the camera men, thinking to myself, "Did that really just happen?!"

I gotta stop watching so many movies!

Poor.

Our freezer was accidentally unplugged sometime this weekend. We discovered it by the stench seeping under the door from the garage. As I emptied the spoiled meat and other foods, I was thinking "thank you Lord that we have resources to replace some of this". Right there, something I read came to mind. Let me share it with you.

"Is it possible that most of us live hungry and in need...but we just don't recognize it?" - Fredrick Buechner(pronounced Beek-ner)

With plenty to eat in the deepfreeze, or the ability to buy plenty of food; with comfortable homes and a car in the garage; with nice clothes, ipod's and the ability to see a movie/turn on the TV anytime we want to drown life out; we assume that the empty feeling inside is just a case of the blues that can be cured by the weekend, or chillin with friends, or a beer, or the purchase of this or that, or as mentioned, another movie.

The poor, on the other hand, don't have those options and are under no such delusion. When Jesus says, "Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest"(Matthew 11:28), the poor stand a better chance than most of knowing what He is talking about and recognizing that He's talking to them.

In desperation they may even be willing to consider the possibility of accepting His offer. I cannot count the times in my life when the most transforming personal moments come when my ability to duck, dodge, distract and deny are stripped from me. And I have only His quiet and stilling word. Why do we wait till crisis? Why do we wait until the pain we carry inside is too much to bear? Why do we run so hard from the only source of life and healing?

Is it because we can?

When you are poor, you can't. Perhaps this is why Jesus, on several occasions, strangely called them the Blessed.

Jesus deliver us from the cycle of meaningless selfish pursuit - or maybe I should say selfish flight. Let us live with purpose and mission...realizing that we were made to love, and we can only do so when we embrace all that we are(darkness included) and come to Him. It is there that we find light and life.

longing.

thanks

hey everyone...
just wanted to say thanks to those who helped me out on thursday. so glad we're not alone on this journey of life.

trace- for taking hayley and feedin her and occupyin her...and for grabbing diapers for us when you were out.
j- for getting dar from the train.
caleb and rosie- for playing with hayley throughout the day...and rosie for checking my head for a fever.
meryl- for reading with hayley in the evening before dar got home.
bri- for getting me ice cubes and pouring my drinks.
dar- thanks for working hard all day even though you'd much rather have been at home.

thanks for your concern...and for taking care of us everyone. wish i could write how it made me feel to know that you were helping me...thanks.
sw

hearing...

Sitting at the bus stop this morning I heard a strange sound. A very unfamiliar sound. Little staccato, electric zaps of lightening. Like the sound of electric current tapping on tin. I looked around to see if a power line was hitting the roof of the bus stop, but there was nothing. I looked to my left and to my right. What could be making electric zapping sounds?

I could still hear it. It was getting louder now. What the heck was it?! I scanned in front of me. Finally, I realized the maker of the electric sound! Directly in front of me there was a jet black crow, trotting across the pavement. The sound of its feet making the elusive electric clicking sounds. I watched in awe as the clicking became more defined to me when I could see its producer. So strange to think that little crow, with its little feet could make a sound loud enough for me to hear in the middle of a relatively busy intersection.

I was fascinated by my next realization! Often we hear only what we are tuned into. What we want to and ONLY what we want to. We become amazingly proficient at tuning out all of the noise that bombards us except the sounds we want to penetrate our filter, our protection.

We can be in the middle of a massive crowd of people and still hear the sound of our name being called by someone we love. We can be on a bicycle riding in the midst of honking cars and engines roaring and our ears are tuned to hear the sound of the birds above us. We can be in a silent meadow, with no noise to be heard except the rustling of trees and tall grass and we still don't hear the person beside us the first time they call our name.

It all depends on what we've trained our ears to hear. What are you tuned into? What voices are you listening for, paying attention to? What voices have you created a sound barrier for? When everything around you is silent (if it ever is!), what is it that you still hear running through your head?

What are you going to do about it?