my heart

hey everyone...
wanted to share something that god spoke into my heart tonight at church. darlene and i are attending centre street church in calgary while we're here; it's her family's home church...and also one of canada's biggest and most influential ones. it's a blessing to observe for a time the tremendous gift that their church offers this community...and incredible to sense the work god is doing.
anyway...tonight one of their pastors spoke on the story of jesus healing lazarus. he spoke with a narrative approach...which more or less means he tried to tell a story, and then make/give insight. it was good...and maybe we'll talk about it sometime. but what was cool is that his whole talk centred around the mystery...the uncontainable, uncontrollable, unpredictable nature of jesus...and how He kept/keeps His disciples guessing. at the end the talk, the pastor gave a few moments for silent reflection...challenging us to view some words on the screen, to listen for the holy spirit...to encounter the mystery of christ.
and you know what? i've been pressing for the past couple months to really hear Him; we soooo desperately need to know His voice for what we're doing. so it makes sense that the pastor's challenge would ring true with my heart.
so up come the words on the screen.
and the first page said this...and it echoed in my heart...
...the LORD himself goes before you and will be with you;
he will never leave you nor forsake you.
Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged... [Deut. 31:8]
you guys need to know something. there are some days that i fight fear about what we're dreaming of...but that's not my vice. what i fight daily is my inherent analytical, critical nature that often screens everything negatively. my time in toronto, while filled with unmistakable growth and encounter with jesus, was marked with incredible times of discouragement. and so what i fight most often is not a fear of the future...but discouragement over the past and present realities of my faith, the church, the world, etc.
and that why this verse hit my heart...because god was giving his assurance to his people that they were not to fear the promised land, and they were not be discouraged when obstacles/difficulty/darkness came. and that's what i need...i need his reminder...i need his nearness. he goes before us into burnaby...even now. he promises his immediacy as we try to settle in that city. he will not abandon us there. he will NOT abandon his dream for our nation; it's his spirit that's fanning it into flame in our hearts.
so...let me know what you think...what you hear. be encouraged.