A nutshell about to break

I keep looking back to the blog page, see if anyone has any visions, or revelations that God gave to them about Burnaby, but it's been empty since May. So, I'll tell you what's on my heart about Burnaby...My desire is to understand and know the fact that Burnaby is REAL. When first encountered with the dream of Burnaby, my first reaction was, "no, that's not for me, that's for someone with talent". And here I am. Faced with a city too big for me to imagine, too big for me to comprehend. This city was a dream I have always wanted to grasp, but never was able to go near or understand, not until the plan of God was in motion. Once in a GC service around 4 years ago, I was sitting in His presence, and my heart was aching for missions, My heart has always wanted something different from my culture. My prayer that day was, "God, my heart cries to go to the different cultures, and to be a missionary, to go where there are different people, to be in their world". As I said those words, I looked down at a Canadian flag sticker that was on my Bible, and His words were. "I've called you to Canada". After hearing that, my heart was stone to the words spoken to me, and I choose to forget about what he said because what He said wasn't what I wanted to hear. It wasn't until around March or April when I was talking to Kim about me going to Burnaby, God opened that memory, and I knew, I just knew. I desired to go to the different countries, and what God was saying to me at the GC service is that I am going to different countries, but within my country, I am called to Canada so I can connect to people who are desperate to see a light. That is such a scary thought, but I'm so desperate for Jesus, that I don't care anymore. I don't care to see my fears and shrink, I want to go with all my heart. There are moment's in which I forget that I'm going to Burnaby and I'm oblivious to the fact that this is real and I feel as if I'm in a dream waiting to wake up. There are moments where my heart is heavy, and I want to scream because I'm so desperate to go, to be a light to the world of darkness, in those moments, I have no fear and i want to run, run hard. There are moments where I feel I won't make it, that I can't do it, that the lies in my brain keep saying that I have no talent and that I'm going to fail, that this is meant for another person who actually make a difference. Sigh...I pray that I don't become a lazy bum, or a procrastinator, in which I let other people do the work for me, because I tend to run away from responsibility, and have others do my work. I pray that I when I live in a community that I will look to the ways of my family and learn to walk with them, not away from them. I pray that I will be able to connect to people in Burnaby, the immigrants, the people born in Canada, and the people who are different from me. God is stretching, and molding me. He has been preparing me for such a time as this. He knows, and He will strengthen myself, and the group going. God is amazing, and I can't cease to be continually amazed by his strength His power and His ways. I love Him.