shoot it stinks

Scott and I have been in the process of planting a garden. There is a section of our yard that is prime for such a project...so we got inspired. So began the journey...chuckle. Pulling weeds. Tearing up sod. Removing stones...all to prepare the place to produce wondrous eatibles.

First job, get rid of the grass that is there. What we didn't know was that under the dandelions, hidden away by the mangy grass...was a gravel pit. Enough to make cement...lots of it. Full of stones, rocks, and things that make growing a garden frustrating...chuckle. So we tilled our rock collection. Needless to say my back still hurts.

Then we imported dirt. Compost. What is compost really? From what I understand it is a mixture of various decaying organic substances...like dead leaves, manure, grass clippings, etc. This stuff makes soil prime for growing the stuff we love.

The planting program goes like this. You spread out your dirt. Plan your rows. Make little holes in the soil/compost and place your seed in the soil/compost and cover it. Then the sun, water, a little bit of time [and our neighbour's expert advise] do the rest.

Thanks Jonathan...thanks really for the gardening blog. point? Ready for a lightning bolt?

I was sitting there in the sun when several truths became very plain.

1. We live our lives with a certain measure of health showing on the surface. We say that success is healthy. Making money. Playing sports. Getting/keeping a girlfriend. Wearing nice clothes. It is amazing what will grow..even in the most unhealthy soil. Lots of us live our lives lookin like we got it all together...but just under the surface are rocks and stones...and the stuff that is exhausting to hide. The unfortunate truth is that even though we might hide it well, we still carry it...and that is back breaking. BUT BUT BUT stuff still grows right?
Yeah, but as i thought about it...none of the stuff that grows in soil like that is useful for anything other than looking at. Grass is a weed. And we like it cuz you can lay on it, or look at it. hmmm. What are we hiding? All of us have a story...stuff that we try not to look at or think about...but honestly, it just needs to be removed...and to do that...the top layer has to come off...which means it can be seen. Sometimes that happens without our permission...just ask paris or lindsey or mel. The world is looking at the gravel of their hearts.

2. To really grow stuff you need compost. decomposing, rotting, dead, decaying, smelly organic materials. It represents everything that is fragile about us as the created. Eventually everything dies. Everything goes back to that from which it was created. dust. dirt.
What blows my mind is that the seed has to be immersed in this in order to grow. It is like something happens in the darkness of that rotting hole. Something in the dna of that seed comes to life. Only there does the spark ingite. The water trickles in and the heat of the sun creates this womb of awakening. And the life that breaks through produces something that creates health and wholeness for our bodies.

Anybody see where I am going?

The power of our spiritual DNA lies dormant, waiting to be awakened. So many of our generation, maybe you, live in frustration...trying desperately trying to figure out who we are, what we should be doing, etc. We live in reaction to the pain caused by our parents, and those in authority, our peers...or maybe just the stupidity of our own choices. We live, in lots of ways, trying to forget the wounds we carry. I have met so many of you...and you are wonderful. called. anointed. gifted. able to be more than you ever imagined. Yet many of us are stuck wandering the hallways of insecurity and indecision...wanting to go through doors of possibilities...but simply unable to. You can't make decisions about your future with clarity and passion...when you are running from the past. Physically running...or emotionally stuffing.

Jesus said, "unless you loose your life, you will never find it." and "unless you pick up your cross"... Paul talked about us carrying "treasure in cracked, earthen vessels."

The awakening of who you were created to be [a Child of the King] is intricately connected to your willingness to face the darkness of your soul. The reality is that all our junk/darkness is dead already...we all know it...we smell it. our hearts haven't been 'composted', worked, tilled, spread out...and nothing's growing there. When we enter into the darkness, the pain, the sin, the fallenness of our hearts...the water of His Presence awakens His word which is lying under the surface. This causes the very DNA of your Spirit to come alive in ways you never thought possible.
People have told me that this is crazy...but how can I be forgiven of what I truly don't own? How can I be healed from what I won't admit is there? How can I be delivered from what is not a part of me? How can I lay something down...if it is not mine? Or to go back to the gardening analogy, how can you plant anything in hard soil...dirt that's dried out, never been worked?

What is the difference between dry, rocky soil and compost? Just one thing. Hardness. Hard soil is useless...you can't plant anything in it...it is completely nutrionless. Like i said earlier, weeds and grass might grow in hard soil...but not anything that might bear fruit. It's staggering how clear this is: our lives will bear no fruit unless our hearts are tilled...unless the scraps and decomposing parts of our lives are 'composted' . And when that happens...with a bit of time...soil is produced that is dark, heavy, pliable. With soil like that, seeds know how to do their thing...seeds are rarely the problem. So too is God's purpose/presence in us...He's there, and He knows what to do...He just needs the ground to be soft and healthy.

It is when I truly face the darkness of my heart that I find Him there waiting for me...ready to awaken seeds in that dark, heavy, moist, broken soil...or maybe we should say soul. For many of us, it's time that we no longer fear the darkness...but see it as the place where Christ will help life to blossom and fruit to grow...and run to it.

He's waiting.

Jonathan and Scott