rest

"yes, it is all too plain that it was refusal to trust God that prevented those men [the Israelites in the desert] from entering His rest." Hebrews 3:19 (J.B. Phillips)

most translations use the word unbelief instead of refusal to trust in this verse. i know i was reading this translation for a reason this morning, you see, this morning when i read this i realized that i refuse to trust God in some of the minor areas of my life. Like my future for example (if you couldn't tell, that was sarcasm!) o sigh...

here's what i realized. we always have the choice to trust or not. whether it is God or our friend, our spouse or our parent, ultimately we choose whether we will trust them or not and then we live that out. in the case of people, we often have good reason not to trust... they've hurt us, they have betrayed us, they have abandoned us, they've cheated on us, they've lied to us - the list is endless. needless to say, i don't always trust people completely.

God, on the other hand, has never given me a reason not to trust Him, yet my instinct is to look out for myself, play everything safe and only dare to do things I can see the successful end of. because somehow, in my twisted little brain, i believe that i know better and i can work things out better than an all-loving, all-providing, all-sacrificing God.

so i guess we're left with a choice then, aren't we? I'm left with a choice. trust or don't. enter His rest or continue to find "rest" on my own. seems like a clear choice, it's the execution that elludes me... as they say, easier said than done.